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View Full Version : Man classes....funny


nbr3bagshotrow
02-07-2006, 11:17 AM
Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide

Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?

Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and

Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.



Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---

Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks..

Class 5

After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning

at 7:00 PM

Class 6

Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.

Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places

And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

Open Forum .

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials..

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.

Online Classes and role-playing .

Tuesdays at 7:! 00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion

Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and

Other Important Dates and Calling When You're G! oing To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.



Class 14

The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.

Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,

diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the

ladies for the best chuckle of their day!

Ish
02-07-2006, 12:06 PM
more like married man classes.

there should a "women's class" with courses like:

-how to shut my mouth and make a sandwitch.

-how to mop the floor right.

-how to drive without scratching the friggin' car!

-how to have a conversation with out saying: you've never done this or that.

-how to keep my @#$% mother out my life.

just a few.









j/k ladies :D


http://jerome.galica.free.fr/marvel/X-Men/divers/Cable_2.gif

Colossus
02-07-2006, 12:45 PM
more like married man classes.

there should a "women's class" with courses like:

-how to shut my mouth and make a sandwitch.

-how to mop the floor right.

-how to drive without scratching the friggin' car!

-how to have a conversation with out saying: you've never done this or that.

-how to keep my @#$% mother out my life.

just a few.









j/k ladies :D


http://jerome.galica.free.fr/marvel/X-Men/divers/Cable_2.gif


no hes not

Collection King 13
02-07-2006, 12:49 PM
:laugh:

Primal
02-07-2006, 12:49 PM
more like married man classes.

there should a "women's class" with courses like:

-how to shut my mouth and make a sandwitch.

-how to mop the floor right.

-how to drive without scratching the friggin' car!

-how to have a conversation with out saying: you've never done this or that.

-how to keep my @#$% mother out my life.

just a few.Now there's a happily married man! :buttrock:

Colossus
02-07-2006, 12:52 PM
heres some more for the ladies

- How to have a 60 second phone call.
- How to pass up a "sale" sign
- How to get ready in under an hour and a half
- How to go to a drive thru and make a decision without sitting there 10 minutes, its $*$^*ing McDonalds.
- How to stop trying to change your husband now that you are married they are not a dog and marriage the obedience course, either love em for what they are or move the **** on!

Ish
02-07-2006, 12:55 PM
heres some more for the ladies

- How to have a 60 second phone call.
- How to pass up a "sale" sign
- How to get ready in under an hour and a half
- How to go to a drive thru and make a decision without sitting there 10 minutes, its $*$^*ing McDonalds.
- How to stop trying to change your husband now that you are married they are not a dog and marriage the obedience course, either love em for what they are or move the **** on!
having problems with the ups girl friend? ;) :laugh:

http://jerome.galica.free.fr/marvel/X-Men/divers/Cable_2.gif

Colossus
02-07-2006, 12:59 PM
nah bro just tired of hearing how bad the guys are, yeah I am most of the things nbr3 had up there and at some point I have had an arguement with my other half about most of it this last weekend was the laundry hamper cause there were clothes right in front of it, I told her it didn't matter if I put them in or not cause she would pull em out and rearrange them anyways, same with the dish washer like the way she packs it can fit like an extra glass or 2. So I just let out some of the things that I know normally kinda urk me, maybe some other people here will understand as well.

Ish
02-07-2006, 01:03 PM
nah bro just tired of hearing how bad the guys are, yeah I am most of the things nbr3 had up there and at some point I have had an arguement with my other half about most of it this last weekend was the laundry hamper cause there were clothes right in front of it, I told her it didn't matter if I put them in or not cause she would pull em out and rearrange them anyways, same with the dish washer like the way she packs it can fit like an extra glass or 2. So I just let out some of the things that I know normally kinda urk me, maybe some other people here will understand as well.
:laugh: i hear you bro. :)

http://jerome.galica.free.fr/marvel/X-Men/divers/Cable_2.gif

CKinSD
02-07-2006, 01:16 PM
being unable to do much of anything right now has my "eye" realizing just how much i do around the house. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh justification :)

rychehitman
02-07-2006, 01:47 PM
How about a ladies class for:

- not caring how much money your man spends on statues!
- How to support your mans on line forum use!
- What NOT to say when another package gets delivered to your doorstep,

and

- How to dust your mans statues without damaging them!


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

JadeGiant
02-07-2006, 02:21 PM
- How to dust your mans statues without damaging them!


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, that's some dusting I don't mind doing. I agree on the rest ...

JadeGiant
02-07-2006, 02:24 PM
- How to go to a drive thru and make a decision without sitting there 10 minutes, its $*$^*ing McDonalds.

That is funny ... I told my wife the exact same thing after she sent me the original list posted in this thread.

I have actually decided to get menus from all of the fast food drive through joints and keep them in the car. I will hand her one as we are driving so that we can avoid the 10 minute wait and the - "what are you getting" or "go ahead and order, I will decide in a minute" ... :laugh: :laugh: