Ask Sam Wilson...

[Sam Wilson]

Okay. Dana P. asked me the other day if I would become statueforum's official advice columnist, and grudgingly I agreed to take the job. What are my qualifications?

1) I dislike most people and have a low tolerance for others and their annoying idiosyncrasies.

2) I like pie

3) Foxy Chicas are awesome, and I like them.

4) I can toss daywalker over 3 city busses.

So there you go.

Ask away, relationship advice, money issues, whatever your question. I got an answer.

[chromesamurai]

I'll ask the hard question...


Pie or chicas?

[Rogue]

What kind of pie should I buy today? :D

[Sam Wilson]

I'll ask the hard question...


Pie or chicas?


Never choose. Chica's serving pie, that is the way to go. As long as they are foxy. Next question? :D

[Sam Wilson]

What kind of pie should I buy today? :D

I had a blueberry pie with a crumble top yesterday . It was fantastic. I would recommend blueberry pie.

[sellin71]

New York Strip or Rib Eye?

[sellin71]

One more. What kind of pie goes best with a St. Pauli Girl. (The beer, not the server)

[Sam Wilson]

New York Strip or Rib Eye?


New York strip. a-1 bold and spicy, optional and a tastey add on.

[Sam Wilson]

One more. What kind of pie goes best with a St. Pauli Girl. (The beer, not the server)


Hmm, strawberry pie, strawberry rubarb would be fine as well. Crumble or flakey top.

[MiamiLoco]

where do babies come from?

[Rogue]

I had a blueberry pie with a crumble top yesterday . It was fantastic. I would recommend blueberry pie.
Do you think whipped cream would go well with that? :D

[Sam Wilson]

Do you think whipped cream would go well with that? :D


I personally prefer cool-whip, maybe a light whip cream, properly chilled.

[Sam Wilson]

where do babies come from?


When a man loves a woman, or likes a woman, or gets really drunk and horny and wants to insert his penis into a vagina (the bottom line here is a penis must be inserted into a vagina) the man releases his "sperm", which impregnate a womans "egg", thus fertilization happens and soon we have a zygote. Then the thing grows and about 9 months later a baby comes out.

[Collection King 13]

How far can you toss me? :D

[Rogue]

When a man loves a woman, or likes a woman, or gets really drunk and horny and wants to insert his penis into a vagina (the bottom line here is a penis must be inserted into a vagina) the man releases his "sperm", which impregnate a womans "egg", thus fertilization happens and soon we have a zygote. Then the thing grows and about 9 months later a baby comes out.
ROTFLMAO!!!!!! :laugh:

[MiamiLoco]

When a man loves a woman, or likes a woman, or gets really drunk and horny and wants to insert his penis into a vagina (the bottom line here is a penis must be inserted into a vagina) the man releases his "sperm", which impregnate a womans "egg", thus fertilization happens and soon we have a zygote. Then the thing grows and about 9 months later a baby comes out.
Wait, if that's true, then where is my papa!? :bawling:

[Sam Wilson]

How far can you toss me? :D


Hmmm. I would say at least five feet, maybe more with a windup...

[Collection King 13]

Wait, if that's true, then where is my father? :bawling:
Two Words...

Sperm Bank! :tounge: :D

[Sam Wilson]

Wait, if that's true, then where is my father? :bawling:


Your daddy doesn't love you. He left your mom for a stipper back in 1982, and soon became the lead singer for "flock of seagulls"...

http://gladstone.uoregon.edu/~rsa/flock.of.seagulls.jpg

[rychehitman]

:banghead:

[rychehitman]

When a man loves a woman, or likes a woman, or gets really drunk and horny and wants to insert his penis into a vagina (the bottom line here is a penis must be inserted into a vagina) the man releases his "sperm", which impregnate a womans "egg", thus fertilization happens and soon we have a zygote. Then the thing grows and about 9 months later a baby comes out.


:thumbs2:

NICE!

[Collection King 13]

Sam - Why Do single chicks have cats?

[MiamiLoco]

Thanks Sam Wilson!! I'll never listen to "I Ran" the same way ever again!!

[rychehitman]

Sam - Why Do single chicks have cats?

YOu know....thats a good question!

[Sam Wilson]

Sam - Why Do single chicks have cats?


There can never be too much ***** in one house I guess.

[Rogue]

Why can't I still find a Thor Figure Factory Series 2 mystery figure?

[Crom]

Question - If I wanted to become the world's greatest honkey, what would I need to do?

[Sam Wilson]

Question - If I wanted to become the world's greatest honkey, what would I need to do?


Go and buy a bottle of old thompson whiskey, Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet" Album, and a pair of frosted jeans with the knees wore out. Honkeyness should then set in in a few days...

[Sam Wilson]

Why can't I still find a Thor Figure Factory Series 2 mystery figure?

go to your toys r us and smash a store clerk in the balls with a hammer. YOu should find your thor figure shortly thereafter I would imagine...

[RichBamf]

Sam, I have a very beautiful fiancee, who unfortunately happens to be born of demon blood.
Her mother is the devil and her twin sister has a heart of coal and a pointy tail.

However, my fiancee has been lucky enough to have been born (reasonably) pure of heart.

My question is, how can I slay her demon family and pull her away from the thrall of evil? Even if you could advise me how to put up with what'll hopefully be the sparse visits from the underworld, I'd appreciate it very much.

[pablocruze]

go to your toys r us and smash a store clerk in the balls with a hammer. YOu should find your thor figure shortly thereafter I would imagine...

Will any hammer do?

[Crom]

go to your toys r us and smash a store clerk in the balls with a hammer. YOu should find your thor figure shortly thereafter I would imagine...

Done and done. And I mean done!

[Sam Wilson]

Will any hammer do?


yes, ballpeen is preferable though...

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, I have a very beautiful fiancee, who unfortunately happens to be born of demon blood.
Her mother is the devil and her twin sister has a heart of coal and a pointy tail.

However, my fiancee has been lucky enough to have been born (reasonably) pure of heart.

My question is, how can I slay her demon family and pull her away from the thrall of evil? Even if you could advise me how to put up with what'll hopefully be the sparse visits from the underworld, I'd appreciate it very much.


bamf, you need to get yourself a muramasa blade. It is an ancient katana sword forged with a blood lust, a blood lust for evil. Slay your fiancee's mother and sister with that sword, and their damned souls will be trapped within the blade forever, thus freeing you from any demon reciprocity. Keep the blade around should any demons come after you again.

[William Paquet]

Dear Sam,

Why are people so stupid? In general.

Thanks,

Anonymous

[Rogue]

My husband won't stop farting in bed. What can I do to stop him because it really smells?

[chromesamurai]

Sam, my problem is that I tend to procastinate and not finish projects I get started on. What should I do t

[Collection King 13]

How long will it take before Computers become smart and take over the world?

[Sam Wilson]

Dear Sam,

Why are people so stupid. In general.

Thanks,

Anonymous


Hmm. Unfortuneatly there is no easy answer. One reason, the millions who bought Michael Jackson's "Thriller" album back in the early '80's. PYT spawns stupidity in people, there was an oxford study on it. Also, Aaron Spelling and the FOX tv network, again, high on the offender list. And that one VJ on mtv, sway. Sway. That is not a name, that is a goddamn verb. And the fact MTV 2 doesn't show any goddamn music videos. People who drive 8 cylinder caddilacs and complain about gas prices. Driving slow in the fast lane, and then waving at a guy when you cut them off in traffic and almost kill them. Sticky-handed children eating ice cream cones. Untrimmed vaginas. The ****ed up notion in our society that topless, hardbodied foxy chicas giving each other bubble paths in public is bad, but some 350 lb chick in daisy dukes and a tube top is perfectly leagal. Not being able to smoke in a bar anymore. Paris Hilton cutting a record. Eric B and Rakim breaking up. Kdawg being marrried to Hedi Klum (not stupid, but worth mentioning at least once a thread).

All these these practices contribute to stupidity in our society. Is there a solution, not yet. But at the Sam Wilson Institute for Foxy Chicas and Pie, we are working around the clock on that problem, when we aren't being served pie by foxy chicas.

[JR2]

Sam,

What type of hammer do you recommend using on someone that ate the last piece of pie without offering it to you? Is ballpeen still the best choice? I was thinking sledge in this instance....

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, my problem is that I tend to procastinate and not finish projects I get started on. What should I do t


put it off until tomorrow.

[William Paquet]

Wow! Very insightful.

You sir, are a Godsend.

Bless you.

P.S. I appreciate you keeping my indentity secret.

[Collection King 13]

Wow! Very insightful.

You sir, are a Godsend.

Bless you.

P.S. I appreciate you keeping my indentity secret.
:laugh:

[Daywalker]

sam - how come DW tossin' is becoming the official sport of SF ????

[Sam Wilson]

My husband won't stop farting in bed. What can I do to stop him because it really smells?


before he leaves for work in the morning make sure you eat plenty of bbq beans the night before, get in his car, make sure the windows are sealed up and drop some major ass. Repeat this until he gets the hint and leaves the bedroom alone.

[Sam Wilson]

How long will it take before Computers become smart and take over the world?


500 years from now, when we finnaly create Cylons...

[Sam Wilson]

Wow! Very insightful.

You sir, are a Godsend.

Bless you.

P.S. I appreciate you keeping my indentity secret.


no probs annonymous... :confused2

[Sam Wilson]

sam - how come DW tossin' is becoming the official sport of SF ????


Cause midget tossing is not PC anymore...

[rychehitman]

Sam,

Why is it that in all the history of mutantkind (AND secondary mutations), there has never been a three breasted, attractive, J-Lo booty looking woman?

[Daywalker]

Cause midget tossing is not PC anymore...
lucky drew :eplus2:

[rychehitman]

lucky drew :eplus2:


ROTFLMAO!

[wktf]

Sam, my question is why no mod on the forum came up with this idea before? Giving all due credit to Dana P. for the lightbulb's finally going off when it did.

[wktf]

Why woud Ryche keep asking me for facts about the Juggernaut's strength level after I had already supplied him with said facts several times? :D

[wktf]

Finally, how is it that bat_collector and I both graduated with English Literature degrees, and honors in our concentrations, but disagree so on the subject of what constitutes a tragedy? :laugh:

[JDH]

Sam, can you punctuate the following passage:

smith where jones had had had had had had had had had had had the examiners approval

?

[Sam Wilson]

Sam,

Why is it that in all the history of mutantkind (AND secondary mutations), there has never been a three breasted, attractive, J-Lo booty looking woman?


dude, no offense, but three-breasts are nasty. no chick wants a dude with three nipples, do dude wants a chick with three breasts.

[Daywalker]

dude, no offense, but three-breasts are nasty. no chick wants a dude with three nipples, do dude wants a chick with three breasts.
but a chick with boobs on both the front and back is acceptable :thumbs2: :thumbs2:

[RichBamf]

bamf, you need to get yourself a muramasa blade. It is an ancient katana sword forged with a blood lust, a blood lust for evil. Slay your fiancee's mother and sister with that sword, and their damned souls will be trapped within the blade forever, thus freeing you from any demon reciprocity. Keep the blade around should any demons come after you again.

Thanks man, I knew you'd be the man to ask :thumbs2:

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, can you punctuate the following passage:

smith where jones had had had had had had had had had had had the examiners approval

?


Smith, "Where jones had, had-had, had-had-had, had had/had; had had the examiners approval."

[Sam Wilson]

Finally, how is it that bat_collector and I both graduated with English Literature degrees, and honors in our concentrations, but disagree so on the subject of what constitutes a tragedy? :laugh:


Joe, I'll answer all three of your questions:

1)bats forgets about your Ivy League ring, his glasses hide the shiney glare.

2)Rych has ADD

3) Galactus and Danny thought of it once before, but it was at 4 AM in some Irish Bar in NYC. Who can remember anything at 4 AM in NYC at an irish bar?

[RichBamf]

Jess, you didn't ask him to punctuate it correctly :laugh:

[pablocruze]

Cause midget tossing is not PC anymore...


Sam,

Why does everyone get on my case about the midget tossing???

Is it that Paul Williams thing?

Thanks,

PC

[Deadpool]

Sammy, what do you reccomend I do (or which hammer should I use), to negotiate a better interest rate when I finalize my Mortgage loan?

[Sam Wilson]

Sam,

Why does everyone get on my case about the midget tossing???

Is it that Paul Williams thing?

Thanks,

PC

cause people don't see the humor in short people anymore. And the paul wiliams thing. sorry.

[Daywalker]

sam y are there 4000 members of SF but only a fraction of them talk?

[bat_collector]

Sam, do I come across as an opinionated prick most of the time?

[The General]

When smacking somebody in the mouth whats the most effective approach, an old fashioned open palm slap or a nice back hand(pimp hand style)? Which should I use?

My second question is if I run someone over in the Zamboni and I want to run over them a second time should I.........

A. Go around the block and then run him over

B. Do some kind of hand signal - do a U-turn and then run him over

C. Just reverse over the bastich.

All good choices but which is best?

Thanks big bro

[The General]

Sam, do I come across as an opinionated prick most of the time?
Can I take this one Sam? :eplus2:

[wktf]

Joe, I'll answer all three of your questions:

1)bats forgets about your Ivy League ring, his glasses hide the shiney glare.

2)Rych has ADD

3) Galactus and Danny thought of it once before, but it was at 4 AM in some Irish Bar in NYC. Who can remember anything at 4 AM in NYC at an irish bar?
Thanks, bro. Now I can get off the forum and go about my day!

[Tetragrammaton]

Sam, is that your retro Falcon MB?

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, do I come across as an opinionated prick most of the time?

Ummm, well, not so much that but you tend to beat your opinion to death and are kinda stubborn as to others (opinions). It's okay though, you are just set in your ways, nothing wrong with that (I may know one or two people just like that...). Now go eat some pie and don't worry about it so much.

[Sam Wilson]

Sammy, what do you reccomend I do (or which hammer should I use), to negotiate a better interest rate when I finalize my Mortgage loan?


**** the hammer, go with a hatori hanzo. Word.

[Sam Wilson]

When smacking somebody in the mouth whats the most effective approach, an old fashioned open palm slap or a nice back hand(pimp hand style)? Which should I use?

My second question is if I run someone over in the Zamboni and I want to run over them a second time should I.........

A. Go around the block and then run him over

B. Do some kind of hand signal - do a U-turn and then run him over

C. Just reverse over the bastich.

All good choices but which is best?

Thanks big bro

C. reversing over the bastich, two or three times over is always the best, and most efficient...

[Sam Wilson]

Can I take this one Sam? :eplus2:


go for it, but be gentle. Bats means well.

And bats, stop calling yourself names (like prick). Dammit.

[MiamiLoco]

Sam, where does the term "honkey" come from?

[Deadpool]

**** the hammer, go with a hatori hanzo. Word.

:thumbs2: Thanks Big Bro, and I know just the one too! Word.

[RichBamf]

Sam, At what point does one stop being a forum newbie?

Am I still a newbie?

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, where does the term "honkey" come from?


The word "honky" as a pejorative for caucasians comes from "bohunk" and "hunky". In the early 1900's, these were derogatory terms for Bohemian, Hungarian, and Polish immigrants. According to Robert Hendrickson, author of the Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins, African-American workers in Chicago meat-packing plants picked up the term from white workers and began applying it indiscriminately to all Caucasians.

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, At what point does one stop being a forum newbie?

Am I still a newbie?

no, you are one of us. Word.

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, is that your retro Falcon MB?

yes, yes it is. :D

[Sam Wilson]

sam y are there 4000 members of SF but only a fraction of them talk?


it's for the best I gather...

[bat_collector]

Sam, can you please beat the crap out of tito ortiz?

And who wins? Silva or Lidell?

[RichBamf]

no, you are one of us. Word.


:thumbs2: Cool, i think :laugh:

[pablocruze]

Sam,

Did your avatar just blink at me?

PC

[The General]

C. reversing over the bastich, two or three times over is always the best, and most efficient...
Cool.

Hey what about my first question?

[JR2]

Sam,

What type of hammer do you recommend using on someone that ate the last piece of pie without offering it to you? Is ballpeen still the best choice? I was thinking sledge in this instance....

Help, which hammer should I use?

[Sam Wilson]

Sam,

Did your avatar just blink at me?

PC


yes.

b/c, Silva of course. Tito, let me work on my cardio, then he is toast...

[MiamiLoco]

The word "honky" as a pejorative for caucasians comes from "bohunk" and "hunky". In the early 1900's, these were derogatory terms for Bohemian, Hungarian, and Polish immigrants. According to Robert Hendrickson, author of the Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins, African-American workers in Chicago meat-packing plants picked up the term from white workers and began applying it indiscriminately to all Caucasians.
Ok, now use it in a sentence.

[Sam Wilson]

Help, which hammer should I use?


ate the last piece of pie? Ballbeen to the balls, Simple, effective, devastating.

[JR2]

ate the last piece of pie? Ballbeen to the balls, Simple, effective, devastating.

Thanks, I thought the sledgehammer would be overkill.

:thumbs2:

[Sam Wilson]

When smacking somebody in the mouth whats the most effective approach, an old fashioned open palm slap or a nice back hand(pimp hand style)? Which should I use?


All good choices but which is best?

Thanks big bro


Always use the pimp slap when available. Always followed by shouting, "BEYOTCH" at top volume...

[Sam Wilson]

Ok, now use it in a sentence.

In Georgia there are many, many honkies in big pick up trucks with confereate flags and white hoods, that's why I have a conceal/carry permit for my glock.

(dudes, this is a JOKE, so please don't go on a political rant)

[MiamiLoco]

Sam, if I wear my "Monday" underwear on Tuesday, am I a bad person?

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, if I wear my "Monday" underwear on Tuesday, am I a bad person?


only if you monday underwear is really your "sunday" underwear... :confused2

[hawkeyethearcher]

why does it burn when i pee?

[JR2]

only if you monday underwear is really your "sunday" underwear... :confused2

Eew......

:confused2

[Virsago]

Why do women say one thing, yet mean something else?

[armitage]

Hi Sam!
I have "something" I need disposed of F.A.S.T!!
Should I do the whole "cement boots" thing and take a boat to Lake Michigan?
Should I take the "package" to a remote location and bury it and hope it stays buried?
Also if you know anything about RICO statutes that might help me squeeze out of a little "jam", I'd be grateful. :)

P.S Do you like Lemon Merenge or Key lime pie better?

[Sam Wilson]

why does it burn when i pee?

ghonnareeha. Either that, or you accidently put Icey hot on your penis.

[Sam Wilson]

Why do women say one thing, yet mean something else?


If I could answer that, I would be the richest, most revered man on Earth. Sorry brother. :(

[Sam Wilson]

Hi Sam!
I have "something" I need disposed of F.A.S.T!!
Should I do the whole "cement boots" thing and take a boat to Lake Michigan?
Should I take the "package" to a remote location and bury it and hope it stays buried?
Also if you know anything about RICO statutes that might help me squeeze out of a little "jam", I'd be grateful. :)

P.S Do you like Lemon Merenge or Key lime pie better?


Okay, call my friend, Mark the contractor. Then get a tarp, some lye and a few lengths of rope. He'll take you to a new constructino site and we'll put your "thing" in a foundation somewhere and you'll be fine.

Again, with the choices, why choose? One of each of course...

[Sam Wilson]

gotta take a break, will try and answer as many questions as possible after dinner...

[hawkeyethearcher]

ghonnareeha. Either that, or you accidently put Icey hot on your penis.

thx. i ll tell my wife it is the icy hot.

[MiamiLoco]

Sam, what's the best way to avoid the Noid??!!

http://i2.tinypic.com/1znyfqa.jpg

[hawkeyethearcher]

a train leaves NY city and a train leaves los angeles an hour later. they are both heading to denver. the ny train is moving 2 mph faster. the la train has two more stops before denver than the ny train. each stop takes 5 minutes for both trains. using all these figures how do i get my wife to have sex with me more than every other saturday.

[Bullseye]

Advice needed Sam.
http://www.statueforum.com/showthread.php?t=31395

[RichBamf]

a train leaves NY city and a train leaves los angeles an hour later. they are both heading to denver. the ny train is moving 2 mph faster. the la train has two more stops before denver than the ny train. each stop takes 5 minutes for both trains. using all these figures how do i get my wife to have sex with me more than every other saturday.

:laugh:

Sweet whispers, guilt, rohypnol? :confused: :eplus2:

[Gianco]

gotta take a break, will try and answer as many questions as possible after dinner...
:laugh: Sam da man!!!

[hawkeyethearcher]

gotta take a break, will try and answer as many questions as possible after dinner...

that could take a long time.

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, what's the best way to avoid the Noid??!!

http://i2.tinypic.com/1znyfqa.jpg


By ordering domino's pizza, of course.

[Colossus]

Sam you are really good at this, why has a lot of rap music went so far downhill, I mean there are still some decent songs that come out now and then but a lot of my old favorites have went wayside and their rhymes were just a lot better.

[Sam Wilson]

a train leaves NY city and a train leaves los angeles an hour later. they are both heading to denver. the ny train is moving 2 mph faster. the la train has two more stops before denver than the ny train. each stop takes 5 minutes for both trains. using all these figures how do i get my wife to have sex with me more than every other saturday.


1) Buy an al green album, any one will do.

2) Don't pinch the titties, caress. Trust me.

3) Naming your penis is really lame, and chicks hate it.

4) Sooner or later, you will have to go down. Sorry, fact of life. :(

[The General]

Sam, Whats the best way to go, Sharks with laser beams on their heads or mutated sea bass?

[Sam Wilson]

Sam you are really good at this, why has a lot of rap music went so far downhill, I mean there are still some decent songs that come out now and then but a lot of my old favorites have went wayside and their rhymes were just a lot better.


Okay,

It all started in the early 1990's when Eric B and Rakim broke up, the bomb squad stopped producing public enemy and Dr. Dre burst on to the scene with the chronic. The Chronic did so well, everyone and they're mama wanted the west coast sound, even the east coasters, so people just started copying the sound, and stopped paying attention to the beats (lack of variety) and the lyrics, and so it stated.

Then we got puff daddy and the bad boy idiots, further taking out any originality from rap. He went from sampling to just taking another persons music and writing new and crappy lyrics over it, glamming up some jackass excessive video and wallah. More rap crap.

Then crunk music hit. Let's celebrate ignorance, change rap from being about funny stories and urban frustrations to being a celebration of the excess, of blowjobs and rims, crystal and bling bling (ghah). And again, let's put the same slow ass beat to every goddamn song and play it on the radio. White kids parents will hate it, so it will sell.

Then there is the selling out of snoop (you see that fu$#er everywhere). Nelly doing a country single with that one guy.

There is no hope for rap. Rap musics only salvation lies in the hands of a white jewish dude, Rick Rubin, who is producing big time rock acts right now (audioslave) and Eric B, wherever he is, and the bomb squad (hank shocklee, etc).

Get rid of russel simmons, Dr. Dre, Jay Z, Damon Dash, and all of those other idiots who are big on repackaging and reselling (umm, worldcom anyone) and bring in some people with some goddamn talent.

[hawkeyethearcher]

1) Buy an al green album, any one will do.

2) Don't pinch the titties, caress. Trust me.

3) Naming your penis is really lame, and chicks hate it.

4) Sooner or later, you will have to go down. Sorry, fact of life. :(

2- my wife likes clothes pins
3- my wife named mine
4- my wife does not let me. bastich that she is

she called it peter. really lame. i changed it to sith infiltrator

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, Whats the best way to go, Sharks with laser beams on their heads or mutated sea bass?


Shark with FREAKIN' laser beams. Trust me brother.

[Sam Wilson]

2- my wife likes clothes pins
3- my wife named mine
4- my wife does not let me. bastich that she is

she called it peter. really lame. i changed it to sith infiltrator


well, give old al a shot brother...

[hawkeyethearcher]

thx mr. wilson you are a life saver


by the way if you have never heard the mr obvious show google it and listen

[wolverinejedi007]

Here are 3 questions that I need answered...

1) what is Buzzy Beans new screen name?

2) How many times will Dduras wife call him during the NYC mafia meeting?

3) When will Coca get banned again?
if he is not banned already...

Thanks ...ask the Pie man

[armitage]

Okay, call my friend, Mark the contractor. Then get a tarp, some lye and a few lengths of rope. He'll take you to a new constructino site and we'll put your "thing" in a foundation somewhere and you'll be fine.

Again, with the choices, why choose? One of each of course...


Great Sam!
Thanks for the advice. You just saved me from two consecutive life..........I mean...uh.........you saved me a great deal of trouble. :eplus2: :D

And your absolutely right about the pie! Why choose when you can have both?
I'm going to wash 2 slices of pie down with a slice of pie, right now.
You da' man!!
:thumbs2:

[Sam Wilson]

Here are 3 questions that I need answered...

1) what is Buzzy Beans new screen name?

2) How many times will Dduras wife call him during the NYC mafia meeting?

3) When will Coca get banned again?
if he is not banned already...

Thanks ...ask the Pie man


1) Jack MeOff

2) enough that you are going to want to cram his cell phone right up his flatualant arsehole

3) Never. Coca is a man reformed, he has converted to Islam since he's been away and is selling bean pies in harlem as we speak... :confused2

[madjazz]

bamf, you need to get yourself a muramasa blade. It is an ancient katana sword forged with a blood lust, a blood lust for evil. Slay your fiancee's mother and sister with that sword, and their damned souls will be trapped within the blade forever, thus freeing you from any demon reciprocity. Keep the blade around should any demons come after you again.
Shouldn't you have explained how the Muramasa blades were banned in Edo Japan and viewed as having bad luck follow them around? :)

[MiamiLoco]

Hey Sam, where the white women at??

[Sam Wilson]

Shouldn't you have explained how the Muramasa blades were banned in Edo Japan and viewed as having bad luck follow them around? :)


yeah, but here in the states they are all good. Besides, bamf is in trouble, the muramaa may be his only hope...

[Sam Wilson]

Hey Sam, where the white women at??

Usually chillin w/some 300 lb comic and pie lovin' negro. Well, the foxy ones anyway... :DJsmile:

[RichBamf]

Shouldn't you have explained how the Muramasa blades were banned in Edo Japan and viewed as having bad luck follow them around? :)

I'll sacrifice damning my eternal soul in exchange for Momma head on a platter. :D

[MiamiLoco]

Usually chillin w/some 300 lb comic and pie lovin' negro. Well, the foxy ones anyway... :DJsmile:
Darn, how can "I" be a 300 lbs comic and pie lovin' negro?

[Sam Wilson]

Darn, how can "I" be a 300 lbs comic and pie lovin' negro?


Well, first you have to love pie. Then, well, being that your hispanic, umm. You'll have to settle for being a 300lb pie-loving vato. Sorry. But I'm sure some white women will love you, just maybe not the foxy ones... :confused2

[RichBamf]

Usually chillin w/some 300 lb comic and pie lovin' negro. Well, the foxy ones anyway... :DJsmile:

In Honour of this post that made me laugh til my sides hurt

Who's the black samurai/coach d1ck
That's a sex machine to all the white chicks?
SAM!
Ya damn right!

Who is the man that would risk his neck
To help his brother kill the mom in law?
SAM!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat that leave town
When there's pie all around?
SAM!
Right On!

They say this cat Sam is a mean power lifting machine!
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Sam.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his women
Sam Wilson!

:laugh: :laugh:

[Sniper]

Sam, Whats the best way to go, Sharks with laser beams on their heads or mutated sea bass?
:eplus2: :eplus2: :laugh:

[Sam Wilson]

In Honour of this post that made me laugh til my sides hurt

Who's the black samurai/coach d1ck
That's a sex machine to all the white chicks?
SAM!
Ya damn right!

Who is the man that would risk his neck
To help his brother kill the mom in law?
SAM!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat that leave town
When there's pie all around?
SAM!
Right On!

They say this cat Sam is a mean power lifting machine!
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Sam.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his women
Sam Wilson!

:laugh: :laugh:

the bamfer. Statueforum member, nerd, prophet. Some people know him as "the man", I refer to him as my hommie. Word.
:DJsmile:

[Colossus]

Okay,

It all started in the early 1990's when Eric B and Rakim broke up, the bomb squad stopped producing public enemy and Dr. Dre burst on to the scene with the chronic. The Chronic did so well, everyone and they're mama wanted the west coast sound, even the east coasters, so people just started copying the sound, and stopped paying attention to the beats (lack of variety) and the lyrics, and so it stated.

Then we got puff daddy and the bad boy idiots, further taking out any originality from rap. He went from sampling to just taking another persons music and writing new and crappy lyrics over it, glamming up some jackass excessive video and wallah. More rap crap.

Then crunk music hit. Let's celebrate ignorance, change rap from being about funny stories and urban frustrations to being a celebration of the excess, of blowjobs and rims, crystal and bling bling (ghah). And again, let's put the same slow ass beat to every goddamn song and play it on the radio. White kids parents will hate it, so it will sell.

Then there is the selling out of snoop (you see that fu$#er everywhere). Nelly doing a country single with that one guy.

There is no hope for rap. Rap musics only salvation lies in the hands of a white jewish dude, Rick Rubin, who is producing big time rock acts right now (audioslave) and Eric B, wherever he is, and the bomb squad (hank shocklee, etc).

Get rid of russel simmons, Dr. Dre, Jay Z, Damon Dash, and all of those other idiots who are big on repackaging and reselling (umm, worldcom anyone) and bring in some people with some goddamn talent.


Damn thats a good answer.

[Sam Wilson]

Damn thats a good answer.


Rap music is a passion brother. I do have a PE tattoo on my forearm... :DJsmile:

And yo, I don't have an advice column for nuthin. :D

[Colossus]

fear of a black planet?

Lot of rappers I used to like that just went wayside ever hear of King T, I liked Special Ed, Old school Mix-A-Lot like the Swass album Posse on broadway is one of my all time favs. There is too many to talk about but I miss old Yo MTV Raps with Dr Dre and Ed Lover.

[pablocruze]

ghonnareeha. Either that, or you accidently put Icey hot on your penis.


Uh Sam... :confused2 Hawkeye was eating nachos with jalapeno peppers and didn't wash his hands BEFORE using the rest room...just thought you'd wanna know...

[pablocruze]

gotta take a break, will try and answer as many questions as possible after dinner...


Sam,

How was dinner?

What was for dinner?

What was for dessert?

Is it better to eat dessert right after dinner or to wait a while before eating dessert?

[Sam Wilson]

Sam,

How was dinner?

What was for dinner?

What was for dessert?

Is it better to eat dessert right after dinner or to wait a while before eating dessert?


Dinner was MRs. Wilson's pasta, it was good.

No desert, not yet anyway.

I like to wait before desert, that way you can savor it more, and possible put away an extra piece o' pie. Word.

Collossus. Word yo, I totally remember special ed. I miss ed and dre too, I bought "Who's the Man" on dvd just so I could see more of them... :(

[pablocruze]

I do have a PE tattoo on my forearm... :DJsmile: :D


I know an InkMan who can change that to PC (for PabloCruze) for next to nothing...

[Sam Wilson]

I know an InkMan who can change that to PC (for PabloCruze) for next to nothing...

yeah, no.

Besides, it's the PE "target", that's all, no words or anything...

[pablocruze]

Sam,

If a pie fell in the woods and no one was around to eat it...

would it stand a chance of hitting the ground before you caught it?

[Sam Wilson]

Sam,

If a pie fell in the woods and no one was around to eat it...

would it stand a chance of hitting the ground before you caught it?

no. I have squirrills and sh$# on my payroll.

[wktf]

yeah, no...
lol

:laugh:

[J Storm]

Sam, why did Dave Chappelle REALLY leave his show?

[madjazz]

Damn thats a good answer.
Boy I agree. Thanks for that awesome primer on why rap now sucks. I was actually wondering the other day whatever happened to rap that was fun like the Sugar Hill Gang.

Here's my question. Will "All-Star Batman and Robin" hit issue #12 before 2008?

[chromesamurai]

*I* can answer that. No. We'll be lucky to see the next issue by the end of the year.

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, why did Dave Chappelle REALLY leave his show?


(sigh). White people. Sorry guys.








(again, joking, relax)

[Sam Wilson]

Here's my question. Will "All-Star Batman and Robin" hit issue #12 before 2008?


"All Star Batman and Robin" will reach issue #12 when Frank Miller stops writing with a pen stuck in his ass rather than with his hand...

[Primal]

Sam. Why do I love asian chicks so much? :eplus2:

http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/299/doingdoing0dj.gif

[Rogue]

Sam you are really good at this, why has a lot of rap music went so far downhill, I mean there are still some decent songs that come out now and then but a lot of my old favorites have went wayside and their rhymes were just a lot better.
Sam really is good at this! :D

[chromesamurai]

Sam. Why do I love asian chicks so much? :eplus2:

http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/299/doingdoing0dj.gif


Probably because you keep finding clips like THAT!

[Sam Wilson]

Sam. Why do I love asian chicks so much? :eplus2:




Casue some of them are foxy as hell (all races, cultures, whatever have foxy, and unfoxy women. It is true...). IN my humble opinion, one of the most beautiful women in the world is Michelle Yeoh...

http://www.asiepassion.com/cinema/actrices/michelleyeoh/michelle4.jpg

[Batwing]

Sam, the "wearing it sideways" issue notwithstanding, why do some people wear baseball caps at night when they drive?

There's no sun, and most of the time it's not a convertible so the wind ain't messin' with the hair.

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, the "wearing it sideways" issue notwithstanding, why do some people wear baseball caps at night when they drive?

There's no sun, and most of the time it's not a convertible so the wind ain't messin' with the hair.


because they are jackasses.

[Rogue]

yeah, no.

Besides, it's the PE "target", that's all, no words or anything...
Who is Foofy Foofy?

[Sam Wilson]

Who is Foofy Foofy?

unfortuneatley, from what I can gather that is what people are calling flavor flav these days. I'm ashamed at what he allowed himself to become, a modern day minstral sideshow. Oh well. Chuck D has NO kind words to say about him. Ghah.

[chromesamurai]

IN my humble opinion, one of the most beautiful women in the world is Michelle Yeoh...

Sam ALSO has good taste!

[Batwing]

Casue some of them are foxy as hell (all races, cultures, whatever have foxy, and unfoxy women. It is true...). IN my humble opinion, one of the most beautiful women in the world is Michelle Yeoh...

http://www.asiepassion.com/cinema/actrices/michelleyeoh/michelle4.jpg

I completely agree.

Just some sharing: Michelle Yeoh is from my mom's hometown. It'll be cool if we were somehow connected. :)

[madjazz]

Fake breasts are not as good as real breasts, right?

[Batwing]

Sam, one more question that has disturbed countless people:

Why are there fewer really good sitcoms but more retarded reality TV shows these days???

[Rogue]

Okay, who chased Sam away?

[Batwing]

Okay, who chased Sam away?

I bet it was the fake boobs question! :D

[wktf]

Okay, who chased Sam away?
The man's gotta hang with his wife some time, guys. Also, maybe he's just relishing having hit his 6,400th post and letting the boards cool off for a while.

[chromesamurai]

Bah! To hell with that! You tell him to get his ass back here and make jokes about asians and pie!

:eplus2:

[Batwing]

Bah! To hell with that! You tell him to get his ass back here and make jokes about asians and pie!

:eplus2:

And the everlovin' honkys!

[Perna]

Sam, my wife won't stop farting in the car! What should I do?

[hawkeyethearcher]

Fake breasts are not as good as real breasts, right?

fakes are always better than the real things. they will always be perky even after twenty five years hit. the other get tired and sad looking.

i had post this before but the truth cant be kept to one post. if i was a woman and did not want to be single or divorced i would get fakes. you dont need big ones b or larger but no dd. just add shelves to them if they are at least that big and they will lok happy and healthy tell you die. these things helped you get a man or woman should they be given something back.

maybe i will start a support group for breasts. or become a breast psychologist. not any dumber than a pet psychologist is it.

[Batwing]

Dear hawkeyethearcher (Sam substitute),

Do women realize that men who seem to be listening attentively aren't really listening at all but are thinking about having sex? And if they do realize it, are we still wrong?

[massf]

Sam, I appreciate you're a busy advice colomnist/husband/chica and pie loving guy and may not have a lot of time to spare but I need to ask...

why is my boss such an a-hole and never includes me in any decent projects at work even though it's plainly obvious to even a visually-impaired (thought I'd be very p.c. there) person that I'm the most experienced/qualified?

Sincerely

Confused.

[JM28Cardiff]

Why is nostalgia not as good as it used to be?

[Batwing]

Sam, I appreciate you're a busy advice colomnist/husband/chica and pie loving guy and may not have a lot of time to spare but I need to ask...

why is my boss such an a-hole and never includes me in any decent projects at work even though it's plainly obvious to even a visually-impaired (thought I'd be very p.c. there) person that I'm the most experienced/qualified?

Sincerely

Confused.

You have my heartfelt support. Why is it that so many people have a-holes or demon witches for bosses?

[massf]

no idea......perhaps there's a course you need to take to get to such an a-hole level........ :banghead: no man-management skills whatsoever.....

[Sam Wilson]

Fake breasts are not as good as real breasts, right?


again, why limit? The only bad kind if titty is no titty...

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, one more question that has disturbed countless people:

Why are there fewer really good sitcoms but more retarded reality TV shows these days???


See my answer to william paquet's queston...

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, my wife won't stop farting in the car! What should I do?


Stop farting in the bedroom. I recommend Beanoo, or something like that. Stay away from legumes for awhile, switch to a "more pie" diet...

[rychehitman]

Sam, my wife won't stop farting in the car! What should I do?

:D You and Rogue are TOO MUCH Perna! :eplus2:

[Sam Wilson]

The man's gotta hang with his wife some time, guys. Also, maybe he's just relishing having hit his 6,400th post and letting the boards cool off for a while.


yeah, and we are catching up on Season 2 of Battlestar gallactica. Just bought them all on drod's rec. Freakin' AWESOME show. Of course I have to wait for my wife to get back from work before I can watch it. grumble grumbe...

[Sam Wilson]

Do women realize that men who seem to be listening attentively aren't really listening at all but are thinking about having sex? And if they do realize it, are we still wrong?


THe know. They all know. And no, we are not wrong, but directness is recommended in a do or die situation.

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, I appreciate you're a busy advice colomnist/husband/chica and pie loving guy and may not have a lot of time to spare but I need to ask...

why is my boss such an a-hole and never includes me in any decent projects at work even though it's plainly obvious to even a visually-impaired (thought I'd be very p.c. there) person that I'm the most experienced/qualified?

Sincerely

Confused.


I would say our boss has as small penis, and is threatened by you. He also probably does not get laid, and more than likely still masturabates to the underwear section of the JC penny catalog. There is nothing you can do about a-hole bosses, except maybe hire them a prostitute and hope for the best. There is a condition that best describe this, FTO (failure to orgasm). If affects both male and female supervisors equally.

[Sam Wilson]

Why is nostalgia not as good as it used to be?


Well,

In college we were nostalgic for childhood, being with our parents and being taken care of,

as young professionals we are nostalgic for the carefreeness of college,

as we age the nostalgia we feel is for a more recent time, which still wasn't as good as the time before, that is why nostalgia isn't as good as it used to be.

[massf]

I would say our boss has as small penis, and is threatened by you. He also probably does not get laid, and more than likely still masturabates to the underwear section of the JC penny catalog. There is nothing you can do about a-hole bosses, except maybe hire them a prostitute and hope for the best. There is a condition that best describe this, FTO (failure to orgasm). If affects both male and female supervisors equally.


ahhhh...that actually makes sense (.....wondered why I always saw a light stain on the front of his pants.....). Also decided he's not worth the cash for a prostitute....let him get his own damn hooker!! :D

Thanks for the insight Sam....you're an inspiration to us all :thumbs2:

[The General]

Sam, for arguements sake what would happen if Beta Ray Bill, Thor, Thing, Hulk, Chuck Norris and Cro Cop had a cage match - Who wins?

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, for arguements sake what would happen if Beta Ray Bill, Thor, Thing, Hulk, Chuck Norris and Cro Cop had a cage match - Who wins?


out of mutual respect and sheer awesomeness, rather than fight they would ban together and eventually take over the world.

[The General]

out of mutual respect and sheer awesomeness, rather than fight they would ban together and eventually take over the world.
I figured if the fight actually went down the earth probably wouldn't survive so forming the Ultra Mafia would be the best outcome. Picture a Chuck Norris roundhouse, Thors Hammer and a Cro Cop kick all connecting at the same time? It wouldn't be pretty dude.

Thanks Sam :thumbs2:

[Collection King 13]

Why do/did so many people think the General and I were the same person? :confused:

[Kdawg59]

SAMMY...

If all the vatos locos are in one room together, will then that room tilt the earth on it's axis as fine pie eating chicas flock in droves to said location?

[Primal]

For the youngins...



Who were the Bowen 12 or 13? :laugh:

[MiamiLoco]

Sam, what's the one main thing that would make you leave this forum and make a "I'm leaving this forum guys" thread?

[rychehitman]

Sam,

Why did Sideshow only put out 50 Hulk Gray Exclusives?

[rychehitman]

For the youngins...



Who were the Bowen 12 or 13? :laugh:


its...who ARE the Bowen 10!

I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you. :eplus2:

[Léon]

"dear mr. Pie"
I´ve got some q´s for you
-what should I call my baby girl, who´ll be born in october
-CroCop vs Fedor or CroCop vs Wanderlei?
-pen & ink or only pen?
-UFC-Pride-K1 apart or throw them on 1 big pile?
-who is hotter: She-Hulk or Scarlet Witch?


help me Obi-SAM-Kenobi, you´re my only hope

[wktf]

...help me Obi-SAM-Kenobi, you´re my only hope
OMG, lol, this is GREAT!!!!

[Justin]

its...who ARE the Bowen 10!

I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you. :eplus2:

It might just be worth it to know!! :tounge:

[Collection King 13]

its...who ARE the Bowen 10!

I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you. :eplus2:
Bowen 10??? It was the Bowen 12...

[Kdawg59]

Bowen 10??? It was the Bowen 12...


yes it was 12...

[Collection King 13]

yes it was 12...
:mad: Hey! who said you can post!?!?! Now get back to sculpting! :tounge:

[hawkeyethearcher]

how can i get lindsey lohan to make sweet love to me down by the fire?

[Sam Wilson]

okay, since I have to do reviews, I can't answer all questions, but I'll try my best...

SAMMY...

If all the vatos locos are in one room together, will then that room tilt the earth on it's axis as fine pie eating chicas flock in droves to said location?

Most likely, yes. Chicas flock to the vatos locos, it's a pheramone thing...

[Sam Wilson]

"dear mr. Pie"
I´ve got some q´s for you
-what should I call my baby girl, who´ll be born in october
-CroCop vs Fedor or CroCop vs Wanderlei?
-pen & ink or only pen?
-UFC-Pride-K1 apart or throw them on 1 big pile?
-who is hotter: She-Hulk or Scarlet Witch?


help me Obi-SAM-Kenobi, you´re my only hope


You should name your baby girl Nebula. Word.

Cro Cop vs. Wanderlei will probably happen in Sept, and Cro Cop will win this time and be the first fighter to ever KO the "axe murderer". Then Cro Cop vs. Fedor, which again, is anyone's fight. To close to call that...

Pen and ink, of course.

Keep them seperate, but once a year or every two years they should all have a big tournament to see who is the best fighter, kinda like the world cup. Of course I favor pride, they have the most $$, they get the best talent, bottom line.

Umm, She Hulk. Duh. SW is crazy, and crazy really drops your hot rating...

[Shangrilien]

One can win €7.000.000 tonight with French Lottery. Could you give all the winning numbers ? I promise I'll give an interesting % of the total amount.

[Sam Wilson]

how can i get lindsey lohan to make sweet love to me down by the fire?

Recite the following poem to her...


Gene, Gene made a machine,

Joe, Joe made it go,

Art, art, blew a fart. And then it fell apart.



She will be so taken aback by your literary powress, she will be putty in your hands.

[Sam Wilson]

One can win €7.000.000 tonight with French Lottery. Could you give all the winning numbers ? I promise I'll give an interesting % of the total amount.

4,8,15,16,23,42

[Sam Wilson]

yes it was 12...

it was the 12, and if you have to ask, then you'll never know.

[Kdawg59]

Sam in a hotness battle...

who would win...

Kate beckinsale or Heidi Klum? Also describe the battle and outcome...

[Shangrilien]

4,8,15,16,23,42French Lottery requires seven numbers. One more and I'm gonna bet right away.

[Sam Wilson]

Sam in a hotness battle...

who would win...

Kate beckinsale or Heidi Klum? Also describe the battle and outcome...


Well, first Kate would show up all clad in leather, and then walk all sexy like up to, well, whoever, and gently caress the face, give her ass a little shake and making sure to push her titties into you when she gets close.

Heidi would show up in lingere or a swimsuit and pretty much do the same thing.

Aw hell, I'd give it to both of them for being way foxy, and the outcome, a Kate Beckinsale/Heidi Klum bubblebath of course.

I gotta go take a cold shower now... :puke2:

[Sam Wilson]

French Lottery requires seven numbers. One more and I'm gonna bet right away.

73 (sammy's old football # :buttrock: )

[The General]

Sam, home run derby - Thor Vs. Superman... Who wins?

[Collection King 13]

Please answer #184 for us Sammy! The general and I would like to know! :D

[Shangrilien]

73 (sammy's old football # :buttrock: )There are only 50 numbers so I reversed it. I'll keep you informed. Thank you, Sam ! :D

[MiamiLoco]

Sam, what's the one main thing that would make you leave this forum and make a "I'm leaving this forum guys" thread?

[wktf]

it was the 12, and if you have to ask, then you'll never know.
Sam, what if you don't want to ask and couldn't care less? :inquisiti

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, what if you don't want to ask and couldn't care less? :inquisiti


That would make you, "the man". Word. :buttrock:

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, what's the one main thing that would make you leave this forum and make a "I'm leaving this forum guys" thread?


Banning Pie.

[Ish]

hey sam, is it true that there are a bunch of rats that go telling on everybody to the mods?

[Kdawg59]

Sam, what if you don't want to ask and couldn't care less? :inquisiti


AMEN Joe...

Sam...

how many times will I shrug 12 plates for today?

[Sam Wilson]

Please answer #184 for us Sammy! The general and I would like to know! :D


It's because the General is your DADDY. :eek:

[Sam Wilson]

AMEN Joe...

Sam...

how many times will I shrug 12 plates for today?



10 reps. Word.

[Sam Wilson]

hey sam, is it true that there are a bunch of rats that go telling on everybody to the mods?


I've heard Coca once gave Galactus a foot massage...

[Collection King 13]

It's because the General is your DADDY. :eek:
Not even in his wildest dreams!!! :stick:

[Ish]

AMEN Joe...

Sam...

how many times will I shrug 12 plates for today?
6 on each side? rookie :laugh:

[Collection King 13]

I've heard Coca once gave Galactus a foot massage...
But I think Galactus returned the favor by giving Coca a Foot in his arse! :laugh:

[Sam Wilson]

Sam, home run derby - Thor Vs. Superman... Who wins?


Thor. Mjulnor can hit baseballs in other dimensions and sh#$.

[Collection King 13]

Thor. Mjulnor can hit baseballs in other dimensions and sh#$.
I think that fact is meaningless... :D they wil still both keep smashing them out of the park... So I think it would be a tie. :D

[Ish]

But I think Galactus returned the favor by giving Coca a Foot in his arse! :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh:

[Sam Wilson]

6 on each side?


word. The dawg is mighty, he will get 10 reps, clean, no cheating. He is the dawg. Word.

[Sam Wilson]

But I think Galactus returned the favor by giving Coca a Foot in his arse! :laugh:


didn't say it was a good foot massage...

[Ish]

word. The dawg is mighty, he will get 10 reps, clean, no cheating. He is the dawg. Word.
rookie :laugh:

[Kdawg59]

6 on each side? rookie :laugh:

man that's harsh... rookie status for 585lbs for 10 reps?

[Sam Wilson]

man that's harsh... rookie status for 585lbs for 10 reps?


he ment to say, "daddy", I think... :confused2

[The General]

Sam:

Last MC standing, Rakim the God, Nas, Biggie or 2pac. Who wins?

No way I can include Jay Z in this. Lyrically all 4 of these guys would hand Jay's ass to him any day of the week. You remember Ether bra, Nas murdered em'. They give Jay way too much credit just because he's jumped up his bank account to Puffy status in a matter of 2 years. I'm not saying Jay sucks but he's not in the class of those 4 MC's I just mentioned.

[Sam Wilson]

Sam:

Last MC standing, Rakim the God, Nas, Biggie or 2pac. Who wins?

No way I can include Jay Z in this. Lyrically all 4 of these guys would hand Jay's ass to him any day of the week. You remember Ether bra, Nas murdered em'. They give Jay way too much credit just because he's jumped up his bank account to Puffy status in a matter of 2 years. I'm not saying Jay sucks but he's not in the class of those 4 MC's I just mentioned.


Rakim. hands down, baddest MC onthe planet.

The prescription's one every hour
Now it's a havoc
If ya need another hit from the freestyle fanatic
Attention: follow directions real close
Keep out of reach of children
Beware of overdose
Too many milligram
But what made a iller jam
My rhyme is the rhythm of thoughts
That kill a man
I deas for the ear to fear
Might split 'im
He'll never forget 'im
He'll rest in peace wit' 'em
At least when he left he'll know what hit 'im
The last breath of the words of death
Was the rhythm

[The General]

Sam:

Chuck Norris, Santa Claus, George Lucas or Zurb. The question is obvious.... In a Battle Royal of beards who's beard wins?

[The General]

Sam where are you???? You got some important questions on the table dude.

[Sam Wilson]

Sam:

Chuck Norris, Santa Claus, George Lucas or Zurb. The question is obvious.... In a Battle Royal of beards who's beard wins?


zurb. He is the one above all. Unfortuneatly...

[Sam Wilson]

Sam where are you???? You got some important questions on the table dude.


did I get 'em? Word brother. :buttrock:

[The General]

Another what if bro...

Pie eating contest - Beta Ray Bill, Sam Wilson & Ron Jeremy - Who wins?

[Sam Wilson]

Another what if bro...

Pie eating contest - Beta Ray Bill, Sam Wilson & Ron Jeremy - Who wins?

BRB. Sam WIlson is mighty, but Bill has the Stormbreaker. Word.

[madjazz]

BRB. Sam WIlson is mighty, but Bill has the Stormbreaker. Word.
Ron wins if it is hair-pie!

[boobhound]

In Georgia there are many, many honkies in big pick up trucks with confereate flags and white hoods, that's why I have a conceal/carry permit for my glock.

(dudes, this is a JOKE, so please don't go on a political rant)
Sammy, that was me!

And it wasn't a white hood, well it was but it was a beekeepers hat!!!

P.S. Don't shoot! :laugh:

[Sam Wilson]

Sammy, that was me!

And it wasn't a white hood, well it was but it was a beekeepers hat!!!

P.S. Don't shoot! :laugh:


Bah. boobs, your pickup and flag are always welcome in the wilson home. Now let's get some fried chicken.

Oh, and I still got you covered for that 501st stormtrooper, don't think I forgot. WORD. :buttrock:

[Batwing]

Hey Sam, how come so many white, black, Hispanic, misc European dudes lust after Asian chicks but white, black, Hispanic, misc. European chicks don't lust after Asian dudes as much? :laugh:

[Sam Wilson]

Hey Sam, how come so many white, black, Hispanic, misc European dudes lust after Asian chicks but white, black, Hispanic, misc. European chicks don't lust after Asian dudes as much? :laugh:


bats, come to ATL. there are a plethora of foxy multi-cultural chicks who will be interested in your shao lin loving a$#. word. :buttrock:

cause let me tell you, in a town full of deatbeat bums, foxy chicas here want a do with a JOB and a FUTURE. If you have that, you are all good. Unless you're miamiloco or Ish. Then your fu$#ed... :eplus2: :confused2

[Batwing]

bats, come to ATL. there are a plethora of foxy multi-cultural chicks who will be interested in your shao lin loving a$#. word. :buttrock:

cause let me tell you, in a town full of deatbeat bums, foxy chicas here want a do with a JOB and a FUTURE. If you have that, you are all good. Unless you're miamiloco or Ish. Then your fu$#ed... :eplus2: :confused2

:laugh: "I'm economically viable!!!!" (which movie am I quoting?)

[boobhound]

Bah. boobs, your pickup and flag are always welcome in the wilson home. Now let's get some fried chicken.

Oh, and I still got you covered for that 501st stormtrooper, don't think I forgot. WORD. :buttrock:
Thank ya kindly, my brother! Hate that I didn't get to catch up with ya in N.C.

As far as 501st, seriously don't go to any trouble on my account dude. And I WILL pay you for it.

When you get back I am going to ''set aside'' a weekend an come down! We gotta hang out again, it was a blast!

But, you gotta come up too! My fortress of solitude is your fortress of solitude! :buttrock:

[Sam Wilson]

Thank ya kindly, my brother! Hate that I didn't get to catch up with ya in N.C.

As far as 501st, seriously don't go to any trouble on my account dude. And I WILL pay you for it.

When you get back I am going to ''set aside'' a weekend an come down! We gotta hang out again, it was a blast!

But, you gotta come up too! My fortress of solitude is your fortress of solitude! :buttrock:


I'll get there brah. Just gotta get over my fear of driving. Bah. Hate it. Soon enough though...

[boobhound]

I'll get there brah. Just gotta get over my fear of driving. Bah. Hate it. Soon enough though...
Well, we do need to get you a bigger ride. :laugh:

I'm thinking of, say maybe a Hummer or at the very least an F-250.

In black, with the right amount of chrome. And some big @$$ tires. With an Avenger missle rack on the roof!

And maybe a Vulcan monted on the grill! :buttrock:

[Rogue]

Do you think my husband will help me tomorrow bake a cake?

[Sam Wilson]

Do you think my husband will help me tomorrow bake a cake?


Yes, because cake is awesome, and any man who would have the opportunity to bake a cake, and then spurn it would surely damn himself for eternity.

For the record though, pie is still best, but cake is awesome in its own right.

[JLM]

Yes, because cake is awesome, and any man who would have the opportunity to bake a cake, and then spurn it would surely damn himself for eternity.

For the record though, pie is still best, but cake is awesome in its own right.

Sam, we all know that pie rules, but which is better, cake or biscuit?

[JM28Cardiff]

:laugh: "I'm economically viable!!!!" (which movie am I quoting?)

Falling Down?