New Year's Wishes

[wktf]

Big man,

What are your thoughts/feelings about the new year? Let 'em fly!

[Sam Wilson]

Well,

First off I would just like to say the country is overrun with beyotches. Men are wearing pink shirts and tight jeans like a woman. They talk about their feelings and have their teeth whitened and have manicures. Back in the day it was acceptable for a man to own 6 grey crew neck t-shirts, a pair of pants or gym shorts, and some nikes. That is the way it should be. No one cares about Steve McQueen, Jim Brown or Arnold Schwarzenegger anymore (Conan arnold, not the governer). Now we have Leo "I wear a thong" Dicaprio and Toby "I accessorize" McGuire. Man Culture has devolved into beyotch culture. And those mens magazines don't help. Sure, they have plenty of foxy chicas in them but they also have fashion spreads, hell, Maxim had a fashion shoot featuring UFC fighters. Chuck Liddel wearing an italian suit. That sh$# is fu$#ed up.

This is what I declare to be the measure of a man:

1) The only jewelry a man should wear is a wedding ring and a watch.

2) Nothing pink or tight. Boxers or boxer briefs only. Seriously.

3) If a man orders a salad, he may as well cut off one nut and move on with herself. Red Meat, double bacon cheeseburgers, porterhouse steaks, giant burrittos with extra black beans and hot sauce. Word.

4) The only condiment a man should use is hot sauce, and maybe salt and pepper.

5) If you go to a bar and order anything other than a Lager or a whiskey again, you should sacrifice one of your balls.

6) If it's been over 6 months since you have touched a vagina, for god sakes go to a bar and get yourself some. If a man can't get himself laid by a drunken foxy chica, again, cut off one nut.

7) If you watch Dancing with the Stars, even if it's Emmit Freakin' Smith, you are a beyotch. Grow a pair and stand up to the wife or gf and say, this is my line in the sand and I aint crossing it.

8) If you see a foxy chica with a fine ass, and don't wonder if you could place a drink and a sandwhich on that ass while engaged in explicit activity, well, you are definately a beyotch.

9) If you watch Grey's Anatomy that is the same as putting one foot in the grave. Go rent "The Soprano's" and watch as many episodes as you can in a 12 hour period to wash that **** from your brain.

If anyone else has anything that needs to be written into statueforum man law, post it up and myself and the members of Team Pie will take a vote on it as to weather it will be written or cast out. Word. On with it then, and remember, don't be a beyotch...

[Tony Coca]

Well,

First off I would just like to say the country is overrun with beyotches. Men are wearing pink shirts and tight jeans like a woman. They talk about their feelings and have their teeth whitened and have manicures. Back in the day it was acceptable for a man to own 6 grey crew neck t-shirts, a pair of pants or gym shorts, and some nikes. That is the way it should be. No one cares about Steve McQueen, Jim Brown or Arnold Schwarzenegger anymore (Conan arnold, not the governer). Now we have Leo "I wear a thong" Dicaprio and Toby "I accessorize" McGuire. Man Culture has devolved into beyotch culture. And those mens magazines don't help. Sure, they have plenty of foxy chicas in them but they also have fashion spreads, hell, Maxim had a fashion shoot featuring UFC fighters. Chuck Liddel wearing an italian suit. That sh$# is fu$#ed up.

This is what I declare to be the measure of a man:

1) The only jewelry a man should wear is a wedding ring and a watch.

2) Nothing pink or tight. Boxers or boxer briefs only. Seriously.

3) If a man orders a salad, he may as well cut off one nut and move on with herself. Red Meat, double bacon cheeseburgers, porterhouse steaks, giant burrittos with extra black beans and hot sauce. Word.

4) The only condiment a man should use is hot sauce, and maybe salt and pepper.

5) If you go to a bar and order anything other than a Lager or a whiskey again, you should sacrifice one of your balls.

6) If it's been over 6 months since you have touched a vagina, for god sakes go to a bar and get yourself some. If a man can't get himself laid by a drunken foxy chica, again, cut off one nut.

7) If you watch Dancing with the Stars, even if it's Emmit Freakin' Smith, you are a beyotch. Grow a pair and stand up to the wife or gf and say, this is my line in the sand and I aint crossing it.

8) If you see a foxy chica with a fine ass, and don't wonder if you could place a drink and a sandwhich on that ass while engaged in explicit activity, well, you are definately a beyotch.

9) If you watch Grey's Anatomy that is the same as putting one foot in the grave. Go rent "The Soprano's" and watch as many episodes as you can in a 12 hour period to wash that **** from your brain.

If anyone else has anything that needs to be written into statueforum man law, post it up and myself and the members of Team Pie will take a vote on it as to weather it will be written or cast out. Word. On with it then, and remember, don't be a beyotch...

this **** is so funny i have a tears in my eyes.Very Funny Sammy,Funny and true.

[wktf]

1) The only jewelry a man should wear is a wedding ring and a watch.


Damn. I asked the question so I've got to accept the answer. There goes my other gold ring!

[Alex655321]

lol, good stuff Sam:buttrock:

[Gianco]

Bien dicho Hermano, you ROCK!!! :buttrock: By the way, Happy Holidays Bro!!! :thumbs2:

[Sam Wilson]

Damn. I asked the question so I've got to accept the answer. There goes my other gold ring!

and ivy league rings, those are fine as well. ;)

[Primal]

7) If you watch Dancing with the Stars, even if it's Emmit Freakin' Smith, you are a beyotch. Grow a pair and stand up to the wife or gf and say, this is my line in the sand and I aint crossing it.

The only time I've watched an episode of those dancing shows is because this was promoted in the commercials. :laugh:

http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/5167/falltc0bm0.gif

It's manly to watch in that case right Sam?

[RichBamf]

I'll add a Man Law Sam:

11) Any man that counts Dirty Dancing as 'alright' or 'watchable', is not just a beyotch, but a douchebag too.

:laugh:

[Zurbaran1]

and ivy league rings, those are fine as well. ;)


Whew, you had me worried for a minute. :)

[wktf]

and ivy league rings, those are fine as well. ;)

Okay, then. Thanks my man! :thumbs2:

[Sam Wilson]

The only time I've watched an episode of those dancing shows is because this was promoted in the commercials. :laugh:

http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/5167/falltc0bm0.gif

It's manly to watch in that case right Sam?

only if you changed the channel immediately after said incident...

[Sam Wilson]

I'll add a Man Law Sam:

11) Any man that counts Dirty Dancing as 'alright' or 'watchable', is not just a beyotch, but a douchebag too.

:laugh:

I'm accepting that law with one ammendment, watching any dance movie makes you a beyotch.

[ANGRYCOMICMAN]

OH SAM-O, I have a slight problem with:
#4) The only condiment a man should use is hot sauce, and maybe salt and pepper.
It needs to be amended to include BBQ sauce, real Ketchup, and Spicy mustard.
Also the consuming of Tofu or veggie burgers should be a "Gootch altering offense". IMO.:buttrock:

[Sam Wilson]

OH SAM-O, I have a slight problem with:
#4) The only condiment a man should use is hot sauce, and maybe salt and pepper.
It needs to be amended to include BBQ sauce, real Ketchup, and Spicy mustard.
Also the consuming of Tofu or veggie burgers should be a "Gootch altering offense". IMO.:buttrock:

agreed, and let's add horseradish to that list also.

I'm also going to go as far as to say anyone calling anything a "burger" that doesn't contain dead cow should have a ball removed via ballpeen hammer...

[Tony Coca]

agreed, and let's add horseradish to that list also.

I'm also going to go as far as to say anyone calling anything a "burger" that doesn't contain dead cow should have a ball removed via ballpeen hammer...

And Mayo.Dont forget the Mayo.

[wolverinejedi007]

Sam Laws Rule!!!:buttrock:

[wktf]

And Mayo.Dont forget the Mayo.

Thank you! My wife doesn't understand this. :banghead:

[Sam Wilson]

And Mayo.Dont forget the Mayo.

can't have a chicken salad sammich w/o mayo. Or Bacon or chedder cheese.

New law:

Bacon makes everything better...

[Tony Coca]

can't have a chicken salad sammich w/o mayo. Or Bacon or chedder cheese.

New law:

Bacon makes everything better...

As long as its covered in Mayo.:thumbs2:

[Tony Coca]

Thank you! My wife doesn't understand this. :banghead:

Hey Mayo with French Fries is the Shiznit.:thumbs2:

[giro]

This Is So ****in True Lol I'm Dying

[Batwing]

Sam, your words need to be etched in stone.

Anyway, it's already midnight, 1/1/2007 in Singapore so Happy New Year!