Dungeons and Dragons Article

[Teague]

Hey guys--I don't normally post my articles, but this one has some crossover interest for some of the old-school gamers amongst us...

Let me know what you think! :thumbs2:

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/04/a_20point_letter_of_protest_regarding_the_new_4th.php#more

[JDH]

Much is lost on me, but I like it!

[Teague]

Much is lost on me, but I like it!

:laugh: Yeah, it requires a certain knowledge of 1st edition D&D, I guess. But thanks! :thumbs2:

[protector2814]

Funny stuff. Well written by an obvious D&D nerd.
How much of this is based on real rule changes? I haven't played for a while, but have they really stopped using 12, 8 and 4 siders, level titles and allignments?
If so, that blows.
I realize you jest, Teague, but behind the tongue in cheek, you can see a fan wrote this. My hats off to you. :thumbs2:

[Darth Torment]

Sounds like they are killing the game
Haven't played in years, but I bought the 3rd edition rule book (DM) and was kind 'meh' about even some those changes..

I Was a 2nd Ed'er

Would love to play again tho....been having a hankering :)

[Teague]

Funny stuff. Well written by an obvious D&D nerd.
How much of this is based on real rule changes? I haven't played for a while, but have they really stopped using 12, 8 and 4 siders, level titles and allignments?
If so, that blows.
I realize you jest, Teague, but behind the tongue in cheek, you can see a fan wrote this. My hats off to you. :thumbs2:

Thanks man. :)

And yeah, they've stopped using level titles after 1st edition. Alignments are being tossed out for this newest 4th edition. Eight and four-siders are still around, but twelve-siders all all but obsolete.

Lots of changes. The article is supposed to be funny, but it does make me sad, all the great stuff that the game has lost. I know you have to stay contemporary or die holding on to the past, but there has to be some middle ground. 4th Edition D&D will, from all reports I've seen so far, feel more like tabletop World of Warcraft than anything. :thumbsdow

[protector2814]

So some suit has decided to streamline it for folks who don't like to think too much. Shheeesh. What a move. Allignments were one of the best parts of the game. How much fun it was to go out with a bunch of evils and just get into trouble.
Kids today.....I tell ya these video games have made it all to easy.

[TNovak]

I've never played but I always thought it was funny in that cell phone commercial when that one kid snorts "Dungeon Masters don't have levels.........DORK!!"

[Teague]

I've never played but I always thought it was funny in that cell phone commercial when that one kid snorts "Dungeon Masters don't have levels.........DORK!!"

No one's ever quite as judgmental as your own peers... :thumbs2: It's a weird thing--pretty much all the nerd-strata have someone upon which they can look down. Video game addicts look down on comic book geeks. Comic book geeks look down on gaming nerds; wargamers look down on D&D players; D&D players look down on Magic: The Gathering players; Magic players look down on Pokemon players. Trekkies (or Trekkers, whatever) think they can look down on everyone, but everyone else is looking down on them. And so it goes. :D

[scott]

T'was a fun read. Makes me miss the days of rolling dice in the basement.

[Teague]

T'was a fun read. Makes me miss the days of rolling dice in the basement.

Thanks Scott. Yeah, those were the days... :thumbs2:

[hawkeyethearcher]

wow 4th edition sounds awful. no alignment. i agree that greyhawk should be he setting but if they got rid of eberron and went with greyhawk they would have to pay royalties to the people that helped invent greyhawk. eberron is why i dont play the online game. plus the young gamers that play dont understand dungeon crawling at all.

nice article. d&d is still the game i wish i could play at least once a month but its hard to find anyone unless i want to hang with people 10 years younger then me.

[JLM]

Like JDH, I don't get a number of the references, but I like the style. Also, rather liked this article:

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/02/the_20_most_awesome_but_tremendously_geeky_tshirts.php

[VaultMan]

I really enjoyed the article Teague. Brought back a lot of memories.:thumbs2: And that part about the Crown Royal bag was briiliant! Why and how did everyone get this bag, and why did we al feel this was the only bag to use to carry dice? :laugh:

My favorite points

4) Cease and desist using "orcs watching chests in small spaces" as a pejorative.
There is nothing inherently wrong with an orc guarding a chest in a 10’x10’ room. Whty, my father was an orc who guarded a chest in a 10'x10' room, and he always provided for us!

This one is hilarious!

7) Put electrum back into the money supply.
Economies are fragile things, and we need a coin to bridge the silver-gold gap. Besides, streamlining an entire system of monetary measure just so every coin is worth the same fraction of the coin above it is just inviting declination of the intellectual capacity of the average gamer. In short, getting rid of electrum is like saying “who the **** needs quarters?”

:thumbs2:

9) Put that bashful naked succubus back on page 230 of the Dungeon Master's Guide.
Every DMG page 230 should have a bashful naked succubus. In fact, let's add one to all D&D books and supplements. Who's it going to hurt?

Ha! I remember this picture...horns and everything! :laugh:

10) Restrain ability scores.
Back in the day, all scores were maxed out at 25. The gods themselves maxed out at 25. Now, any tenth-level fighter worth his ioun stones boasts a 25 strength. What, 18/00 isn’t good enough for you? We used to kill Odin with 18/00 strength, boy. And don't even get us started on how lame Gauntlets of Ogre Power are anymore.

Good point.

12) Make the twelve-sider useful again.
There are six dice, you know. Okay, seven if you count both percentile. Twelve-siders used to be for all the cool stuff—barbarians rolling HP, swinging a two-handed sword, that sort of thing. Now, the twelve-sider languishes in the Crown Royale bag, with the mud die from the original basic set and that golf-ball 100-sider that seemed cool at the time, but is too much of a pain in the ass to roll.

13) Re-establish Level Titles.
Remember how cool it was to reach "name level"? Even at lower levels, this made everything a little more interesting. That wasn't just a second-level thief and a fourth level ranger you just met—that was a footpad and a courser. Nowadays, paladins are paladins, not protectors, defenders, or justiciars. Which makes them less interesting as you're killing them.

[Teague]

Thanks, VM! Glad you liked it. :thumbs2:

Sadly, this article isn't getting the attention I hoped it would. The comments function isn't working on the website that bought the article, and a friend of mine tried to Digg it, and something went wrong there, too. Also, the tags on the article don't work. So all in all, it's getting next to no hits.

Anyone who knows how to Digg or Fark something, and wouldn't mind helping out, please do! :thumbs2:

[superdoug]

Bwahahaha. That article was the absolute best. Made me start to pine for my sucky cleric and little wacky ranger. :thumbs2:

Sorry it's not getting the attention it deserves. It's definitely a must-read for the D&D player, past or present. :thumbs2:

[protector2814]

Teague, have you tried selling this or other D&D related articles to The Dragon magazine? I believe it's still published and would seem like a natural for this satire.
It's too funny and pertinent to just fade away.

[Teague]

Dragon stopped publishing print issues last year--they're still online, I think, but that would probably be in direct competition with the site that ran the article.

I'm trying to get it posted on Fark or Digg or one of those, but I don't really know how to submit those things. I'm looking into it today, but I doubt they let authors submit their own stuff. Or I'd feel weird doing it anyway.

Thanks, guys, for the support. I'd love to see this get more hits, too, I'm just not sure how to do it.

[Jack8022]

LOL. That brings back memories.
Thac0's gone? Yikes!!!