Working with female colleagues

[Batwing]

Hey Sam,

At the risk of offending our fellow female forumites (see why this caution is necessary in a little while), I have one question that probably may never be fully understood and answered.

My wife agrees with me, as do many female friends and family members. (end of ***** disclaimer)

Why is the working world populated by so many crazy *****es?

Sooner or later you'd (being a dude) say the wrong thing and you'll never live it down or be forgiven or anything, and because you're a man, you have to live with it. But it's entirely OK for them crazy *****es to say or do anything, because, well, they're crazy *****es. Even the CEO walks in fear of this threat. Nobody can do anything about it.

Do we live in avoidance? Confront? Live and let live?

[endsongjen]

:laugh: cuz theyre striving to be the best......

[Batwing]

:laugh: cuz theyre striving to be the best......

So you do acknowledge that this menace exists!!!

[endsongjen]

So you do acknowledge that this menace exists!!!

oh def. not myself. or in my workplace but i know women like this, move outta their way. :D

[Black Cat]

I'm not either but you're right it does exist and I usually just ignore them. You can pretty much say anything to me but some you can't even say hi to now days.

[moon_knight1971]

Very true. I've known some very ambious women & I rather spend some time hitting my head against the wall than trying to converse with them.:redface:

[Sam Wilson]

Brother,

Unfortunately there is no simple answer. Before I start, I'm going to say this:

I've been married almost 10 years and work a job that is 80% women. I know one thing for goddamn sure after these particular experiences.

*****es are ****ing crazy.

It doesn't matter what you say, what you do or what you don't do. You can do all the right things, compliment them when they get their hair done, listen to the single ones when they want to talk to you about how lonely they are and can't meet a good man, listen to those same *****es tell you about there crazy freakin' internet dates who are ex-cons and show up drunk and gropey. You can give those same *****es the most profound, helpful and logical advice and they won't listen to you. They don't care. Crazy is as crazy does. This holds true for most females.

God forbid you should ever piss one off. It doesn't matter how much you apologize, how sincere you are or how much you vow never to piss them off again, they will make you suffer to the bitter end. They can talk for hours as to exactly why you are difficent in oh so many things and exactly what you did to hurt their feelings and exactly how they hurt. Apologies don't matter, they will make you suffer until they are done saying what they have to say. God forbid you should be cornered by more than one then you are truely ****ed.


You're only hope is to just put up with crazy from foxy chicas. At least you have something good to look at while they dress you down or go crazy on you. And trust me, most foxy chicas are ****ing crazy. And usually *****es. But such is life. Foxy may be your only salvation when your back is up against the wall.

So how to deal?

Smiling and nodding works great. The occasional, "yeah, I understand,", or "no, you can talk to me, I'll listen". Or the best thing you can say, "you don't deserve to be treated like that, your so beautiful/kind/whatever". Yes, blowing smoke up their ass. It's a man's best defense. While you are blowing smoke, if the chica is foxy I recommend imagining bouncing a quarter of her ass or said foxy chica in your favorite outfit bringing you a hostess lemon pies. That kind of visualization technique usually helps one digest the crazy.

Anyway, I know this is probably one of the most offense things I have ever written, but as you may have read about my section, if you can't take the heat, please stay out of the kitchen. this one is for all the married guys and working cats who are outnumbered and outgunned by the female species. Sure our salaries are disproportionatly high, but we don't care if you notice we got our hair done...

[Tattoo-S]

As a women, I have to agree (for the most part) most women are non talerant, self centered and have next to nothing for a sense of humor. Listen, the Male gender has to take some kind of responsibility for some if not most of the behavior of the crazy *****es! Men have let them get away with tossing their hair, shaking their @ss's, and biting their upper lip for most of their youth. You think women are crazy, you think they are simple, or unintelligent, they are NOT, simply put they are the masters of manipulation if you let them be. I have often been embarrased as the actions of my "girlfriends" especially when in groups, however I must say that when I find and meet a women who like myself shares a more "masculine" (if you will) personality, and revels in the Gal pal and She guy persona, I am far more happy. I love men for all kinds of reasons, Mostly cause they are a NEVER ending sourse of funny. I think if you have that much trouble with women, then you are not dealing with women my friend, you are dealing with plain ol' *****es. Somewhere in time (evolution) there was a split. I suppose it came with beauty, so I am not so beautiful, but I am intelligent, I am friendly and I get along well, with nearly all! Try separating the women from the heard, and you will have a better feeling about your place. ;)

[glassdancer]

....is the worst!

[JosephCPR]

WTF are you talking about? Is this a sect or something?

[Sam Wilson]

okay,

as much as I love some of you (well, tattoo-S anyway, she sent me pie. nuff said) I'd like to remind the rest of you...

this is ASK SAM WILSON, not, "please, let's have a spirited debate about men and women and respect and whatnot". So really, no one cares. Unlike the rest of this place, this forum is no so open. Again, one more time, ASK SAM WILSON. Thank you.

Again, tattoo S can say what she wants. She gets a pass. She sent me a pie. Oregon berry. It was magnificent. Until you send me a pie, you get no respect.

[Sam Wilson]

WTF are you talking about? Is this a sect or something?

yes. a crazy, pie eating sect who wishes heidi klum would bring us hostess lemon pies and let me and kdawg bounce quarters off her ass into a pint glass. Joe of course would be standing close, taking pictures while JDH would shake his head in a disapproving, morally superior British manner all the while wondering if indeed Heidi is now British since she married Seal, that british rock star guy, and if indeed she was British why isn't she maintaining compsure and just standing there in her underwear letting me and kdawg bounce quarters of her ass into a pint glass...

[Batwing]

Very true. I've known some very ambious women & I rather spend some time hitting my head against the wall than trying to converse with them.:redface:

:laugh: cuz theyre striving to be the best......

I don't think it's limited to the ambitious, "I gotta be like a man" career women types.

It's any type, even administrators, who react badly.

Like I said, you can't/shouldn't get close, lest you unintentionally upset them. You can't joke normally, but THEY can joke with you.

I know it's not all women colleagues but there seems to be at least one in every company. Say the 'wrong' thing and you'll get the cold shoulder anywhere from 2 days til the rest of eternity.

[Batwing]

As a women, I have to agree (for the most part) most women are non talerant, self centered and have next to nothing for a sense of humor. Listen, the Male gender has to take some kind of responsibility for some if not most of the behavior of the crazy *****es! Men have let them get away with tossing their hair, shaking their @ss's, and biting their upper lip for most of their youth. You think women are crazy, you think they are simple, or unintelligent, they are NOT, simply put they are the masters of manipulation if you let them be. I have often been embarrased as the actions of my "girlfriends" especially when in groups, however I must say that when I find and meet a women who like myself shares a more "masculine" (if you will) personality, and revels in the Gal pal and She guy persona, I am far more happy. I love men for all kinds of reasons, Mostly cause they are a NEVER ending sourse of funny. I think if you have that much trouble with women, then you are not dealing with women my friend, you are dealing with plain ol' *****es. Somewhere in time (evolution) there was a split. I suppose it came with beauty, so I am not so beautiful, but I am intelligent, I am friendly and I get along well, with nearly all! Try separating the women from the heard, and you will have a better feeling about your place. ;)

From what I can see, you're a very sensible, down to Earth, good person type (not 'masculine' like you have said).

I'm grateful that a lot of female friends I have share those traits and they're no less feminine.

Maybe it's like the friends vs family thing--you can choose your friends but not your family. But with colleagues you have no choice, unless you hire or fire some (if you ahve the authority). But the wrong colleagues are worse than crackpot family members because with family at least there's the family connection, ie some emotional link.

[Batwing]

Brother,

Unfortunately there is no simple answer.
It doesn't matter what you say, what you do or what you don't do. They don't care. Crazy is as crazy does. This holds true for most females.

God forbid you should ever piss one off. It doesn't matter how much you apologize, how sincere you are or how much you vow never to piss them off again, they will make you suffer to the bitter end. They can talk for hours as to exactly why you are difficent in oh so many things and exactly what you did to hurt their feelings and exactly how they hurt. Apologies don't matter, they will make you suffer until they are done saying what they have to say. God forbid you should be cornered by more than one then you are truely ****ed.



This is gospel truth, Brother!

Man, *****es are crazy!!!

The last time I had a problem happened in 1999, and I used to be chunkier than now--I had a beer gut and this *****, like many of my friendly colleagues used to tease me about it.

"You're 4 months pregnant!" and **** like that.

So this one ***** was so comfortable, she kept teasing me about it and one fine day I responded by saying, "True, my gut may be big but it's still smaller than your ass."

Her face changed and she ran out of the building fuming. Of course, I go and apologize but the next thing you know, she lodged a complaint with the ****ing Head of ****ing HR (my boss's boss) and I got a warning letter in my file.

She conveniently left out the part where she started insulting ME. She just made it look like I deliberately harrassed her (poor Cecilia!) by 'attacking her bottom.'

So a woman can insult a man but a man can't say anything in response?

There is no justice!

That was 8-9 years ago.

I still notice behaviour like this today, and I'm appalled at just how sensitive women colleagues are and worse, how psychotic a reaction can be.

It defies logic. But we can't win, can we?

[VinReaper]

I don't tolerate it at all!

I am my own boss and work for myself. If someone gives me grief I don't do business, if it is a situation where I must do business, I charge them enough to make me feel it is worthwhile to do business with them and let them know it. It is to be benefit I work in a rarities luxury market so if I have something people want I can pick and choose, but there are times where I am in a dry spell and have to bend a little. Just make them understand that they will feel equivalent amount of discomfort they lay upon you. And you will be surprised how quickly it ends.

I know my situation is a rare one, but I have worked hard to make it so. Primarily due to the fact of having to deal with *****es for a long time as I paid my dues in the field.

You can change them people so make them pay for who they choose to be!

Then enjoy yourself on the extra dime earned! :thumbs2:

VR

[DFury]

okay,
Again, tattoo S can say what she wants. She gets a pass. She sent me a pie. Oregon berry. It was magnificent. Until you send me a pie, you get no respect.

I sent you Hot Sauce does that count??

:thumbs2:

df
Rick

[boondocksaint]

Hey Sam,

At the risk of offending our fellow female forumites (see why this caution is necessary in a little while), I have one question that probably may never be fully understood and answered.

My wife agrees with me, as do many female friends and family members. (end of ***** disclaimer)

Why is the working world populated by so many crazy *****es?

Sooner or later you'd (being a dude) say the wrong thing and you'll never live it down or be forgiven or anything, and because you're a man, you have to live with it. But it's entirely OK for them crazy *****es to say or do anything, because, well, they're crazy *****es. Even the CEO walks in fear of this threat. Nobody can do anything about it.

Do we live in avoidance? Confront? Live and let live?



confront!!,,,theyll run off and cry in the ladies room! :thumbs2: lol

[Sam Wilson]

I sent you Hot Sauce does that count??

:thumbs2:

df
Rick

rick also always gets a pass. that was some good ass hot sauce...

[Kdawg59]

rick also always gets a pass. that was some good ass hot sauce...

Sam... wouldn't you agree brother that your only other means to escape is to do what I always used to do and just sleep with them to get them on your side?

Granted it can never last as they end up scorned... but hey... their **tches and deserve it any way!!!! :)


I'm kidding...

[Alphaduce]

i know what you mean... i dont have to deal with it, but i do aknowledge the prob.

i do know that if you say nothing then you have nothin to be sorry for-
the wize are silent and listen, but the ignorant chatter like a clatter bone in a gooses but.
lol

of course you could always slap the crap out of them, they want equal rights then give it to them lol.

yea but seriously you could do what the one dude above said, confront them if they do something that agrevates you, tell them in a serious way, yet calm and collective, and without raising ur voice, look them in the eye and say-
"dont do, or say that again !"

with your eyes, show them you are the man, your no !%&!%&!%&!%&!%&, and have the look of seriousness about you. that should work. if they cop an attitude an say somethin like " well what are u going to do about it "
all you have to do is maintain eye contact, keep silent, smile at them, and walk away. she wont be able to think about anything else for the entire day lol. and the ods are, she wont do it again.

the only reason they do the stuff they do is for the same reason a little kid does stuff-
because they have always gotten away with it

if you show them that they aint gonna get away with that crap around you then they will take you serious and respect you.

[Alphaduce]

see everyone makes mistakes,and everyone knows that

just let your apology be known if you make a mistake and say somethin you dont mean,
and let it go.

the end

[risingstar]

Most women are generally great to work with... Things become tense when you suddenly run into that one woman who has been pushed around or dumped on most of her life (justifiably or not, doesn't matter) and has finally had enough. At that point, whoever is unlucky enough to be that final dickhead to make that latest dumbo comment to is about to get 30 years or so of frustration making a Persian rug out of him/her.

It should be noted that the male counterpart of this type of woman likely vents his frustration in his own way by shooting everyone at the office. I'll take the female version any day.

I'm working with a woman right now who has been signaled as extremely difficult to work with... When someone feels wronged over a long period of time, it sometimes become near impossible for them to let go of that need for justice. They're just so angry. Someone has to pay. Scary stuff.

[Batwing]

I'm working with a woman right now who has been signaled as extremely difficult to work with... When someone feels wronged over a long period of time, it sometimes become near impossible for them to let go of that need for justice. They're just so angry. Someone has to pay. Scary stuff.

So Sam Wilson, how do you help people with such anger issues?

[bat_collector]

Sam... wouldn't you agree brother that your only other means to escape is to do what I always used to do and just sleep with them to get them on your side?
Granted it can never last as they end up scorned... but hey... their **tches and deserve it any way!!!! :)


I'm kidding...

now taht's funny!

[Sam Wilson]

So Sam Wilson, how do you help people with such anger issues?

with females there is nothing you can do. to keep it safe, the only thing you can attempt is to compliment them on their looks (hey, I like your hair, you look really good today) and act stupid. Women expect you to be stupid, so acting stupid frustrates then and makes them walk away in a huff, which is great because they walk away. The compliment thing, well, one can always hope they are having a low self esteem day (which is almost every day) and it usually works to score you points and get them preoccupied from whatever is angering them. Of course if they are skank then the compliment thing is pretty hard to do, for that I just advise wtih the acting stupid ploy. Never compliment a skank on their looks. You're asking for nothing but trouble on that one...

[Sam Wilson]

of course if the chica is foxy then all previous statements don't apply. Depending on the level of foxyness you deal with the crazy. Getting close to you, brushing their hair on your face, whatever, all that is pretty much awesome. Of course crazy is crazy, and reguardless of the level of foxy you will eventually have to run the !%&!%&!%&!%& away from a crazy !%&!%&!%&!%&!%&, but whatever. Cross that bridge when it comes to it...

[oddball]

Hey Sam,

At the risk of offending our fellow female forumites (see why this caution is necessary in a little while), I have one question that probably may never be fully understood and answered.

My wife agrees with me, as do many female friends and family members. (end of ***** disclaimer)

Why is the working world populated by so many crazy *****es?

Sooner or later you'd (being a dude) say the wrong thing and you'll never live it down or be forgiven or anything, and because you're a man, you have to live with it. But it's entirely OK for them crazy *****es to say or do anything, because, well, they're crazy *****es. Even the CEO walks in fear of this threat. Nobody can do anything about it.

Do we live in avoidance? Confront? Live and let live?

i have a great comradery with the women i work with. some are VERY doable, so i sometimes have to keep little oddball at bay. but not one has displayed workplace craziness, and surely not to the point of fear. you guys must be doing something wrong big time to warrant a lack of respect.

[Sam Wilson]

wow. Okay. Thanks for that...

[oddball]

wow. Okay. Thanks for that...

maybe trying to figure out a woman is where you guys are going wrong. don't even attempt it, unless you're the one that wishes to visit the asylum. :laugh: once you try to get inside their head....it's game over.

[Sam Wilson]

yeah, not trying to figure females out. Tips for survival young man, tips for survival...

[Batwing]

i have a great comradery with the women i work with. some are VERY doable, so i sometimes have to keep little oddball at bay. but not one has displayed workplace craziness, and surely not to the point of fear. you guys must be doing something wrong big time to warrant a lack of respect.

That's true!

I get along with most female colleagues but there's always that ONE in every company I work in that's cranky. It's too bad I can't 'give it to her' to help her relax. Oh well.

[Black Cat]

we are all b__ches

[wktf]

of course if the chica is foxy then all previous statements don't apply. Depending on the level of foxyness you deal with the crazy. Getting close to you, brushing their hair on your face, whatever, all that is pretty much awesome. Of course crazy is crazy, and reguardless of the level of foxy you will eventually have to run the !%&!%&!%&!%& away from a crazy !%&!%&!%&!%&!%&, but whatever. Cross that bridge when it comes to it...

So, my brother, is there a general rule of measuring the right time-balance of crazy vs. foxy in a chica to make the pain all worthwhile. Like, for instance, I'm guessing 50/50 just won't cut it as the crazy is more painful than the foxy is awesome, so an even distribution experience is still uneven in their overall effect. So is, like, say, a ratio you can live with more like 30/70 on the crazy/foxy experience ratio? What's the threshold balance to make it all worthwhile.

Please answer carefully. My 18 1/2 year marriage may hinge on the answer. :D

[Sam Wilson]

So, my brother, is there a general rule of measuring the right time-balance of crazy vs. foxy in a chica to make the pain all worthwhile. Like, for instance, I'm guessing 50/50 just won't cut it as the crazy is more painful than the foxy is awesome, so an even distribution experience is still uneven in their overall effect. So is, like, say, a ratio you can live with more like 30/70 on the crazy/foxy experience ratio? What's the threshold balance to make it all worthwhile.

Please answer carefully. My 18 1/2 year marriage may hinge on the answer. :D

unfortuneatly there is no definitive measure for crazy to foxy. Pretty much once you get the feeling that they may possibly cut something off of you or kill a pet, run the !%&!%&!%&!%& away...

[WilmaFlintstone]

That's true!

I get along with most female colleagues but there's always that ONE in every company I work in that's cranky. It's too bad I can't 'give it to her' to help her relax. Oh well.

perhaps you could suggest this to the cranky one and see what happens ;):laugh:

[risingstar]

That's true!

I get along with most female colleagues but there's always that ONE in every company I work in that's cranky. It's too bad I can't 'give it to her' to help her relax. Oh well.




There's always at least one in the office in the workplace... Never fails...

[Batwing]

Yeah, sometimes the problem in companies these days is a LACK of sexual harassment, eh, wink wink nudge nudge?

[Argonus]

When I was teaching, I was the only male teacher in the county.. it was amusing to go to county-wide meetings and either be fawned over or "talked down to" by my co-workers there, as they were all women. Apparently I wasn't as respectable a teacher, merely because I was male? :laugh: Everyone thought I was a teacher's husband the first few meetings. Parents and kids all loved me, so I could give a crap less what the few difficult teachers I came into contact with felt.

I was either complacent towards them in return, or just "played dumb" as some of you have mentioned.. :laugh: Makes life easier.

Women get away with far more sexual harrassment in companies than men do these days, seems like. Crap, even in my studio environment, which is a level playing field.. women can say/slide by with saying far more lewd comments than men can. :laugh:

[WilmaFlintstone]

Yeah, sometimes the problem in companies these days is a LACK of sexual harassment, eh, wink wink nudge nudge?

I agree, lets bring back sexual harrassment, it make you feel pretty! :laugh:

[WilmaFlintstone]

When I was teaching, I was the only male teacher in the county.. it was amusing to go to county-wide meetings and either be fawned over or "talked down to" by my co-workers there, as they were all women. Apparently I wasn't as respectable a teacher, merely because I was male? :laugh: Everyone thought I was a teacher's husband the first few meetings. Parents and kids all loved me, so I could give a crap less what the few difficult teachers I came into contact with felt.

I was either complacent towards them in return, or just "played dumb" as some of you have mentioned.. :laugh: Makes life easier.

Women get away with far more sexual harrassment in companies than men do these days, seems like. Crap, even in my studio environment, which is a level playing field.. women can say/slide by with saying far more lewd comments than men can. :laugh:


Women are making a comeback, the scales are tipping in our favour! :D

[risingstar]

Whether it's cosmic justice or karma, who knows? The truth of the matter is that many men today are getting a taste of how women felt and were treated over the past 10 billion years. Is it right? Of course not. However, men are certainly more sensitive to gender inequities than they ever have been before.

In the next 20 years, I imagine we'll be seeing an even greater shift as there may be as many women running countries as men.


:thumbs2: