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02-09-2011, 02:12 PM
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#1
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Yeah, I spend WAY too much time here!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: o'side baby
Posts: 12,629
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adoption?
a family i am very close with is having an issue. my friend, there son, is going to meet his birth mom. he is 40 now. his mom is having a huge problem with this but not asking him to not do it. she is afraid that she will go from being his mom to being his adopted mom.
so you know me. i don't have a sensative side and don't care to baby people through there emotional problems that can be avoided by simple intelligent thought. I told her to get over it and stop making crap up to get herself upset. he isn't a kid and nothing will change. so far that has worked but the day is coming up. i am going to be spending the day with her, maybe a brunch to distract her. this is dumb but i am thinking maybe a more sensative approach could be used. if you have gone through this on either side than any advice of what helped you would be welcome.
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02-09-2011, 02:21 PM
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#2
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You Should Punch Your Face in the Face!!!
Adamantium Plus Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boogie Down Bronx
Posts: 50,998
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I don't think anything will change... she is over worried... His Biological mom will be his "Biological Mom" and his adopted mom will still be "Mom".
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02-09-2011, 02:31 PM
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#3
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Mandarin
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: My House
Posts: 16,731
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I don't think the adoptive Mom has anything to worry about.
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02-09-2011, 02:34 PM
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#4
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Yeah, I spend WAY too much time here!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: ASGARD
Posts: 17,497
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Unless biological mom is rich. 
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02-09-2011, 02:47 PM
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#5
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Baron Zemo
Join Date: May 2006
Location: we know each other, he's a friend from work
Posts: 16,341
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Not sure about the circumstances of the adoption, but I think for those that adopt, there is always that fear that the birth mother will come back and take away their child's thoughts of who they are. Whether they are warranted or not, she has probably had this thought in the back of her head since day one. And since it has been awhile, the fear has probably grown in size, again probably not warranted but the mind likes to play games on people. Take her to brunch, use a little compassion and let her know that her son will always be her son. Do not brush it off because that could make her feel even more worried.
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02-09-2011, 02:54 PM
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#6
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Galactus
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: the void
Posts: 31,161
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I think the fact that you are searching out ways to help speaks volumes for the sensative side you claim not to have Hawk...you big cuddly teddy bear, you!
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02-09-2011, 03:21 PM
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#7
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Yeah, I spend WAY too much time here!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: o'side baby
Posts: 12,629
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well like i said he is 40 so she is in her 60s' so I try and respect elders and i do want her to keep her stress level down
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02-09-2011, 03:38 PM
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#8
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Galactus
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Sunrise, FL
Posts: 38,901
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Giving birth to him makes this woman he's about to meet his mother.
Being there for him for 40 years is what makes his Mom his MOM ... there's a HUGE difference.
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