Sam Wilson Method for Self-Improvement, Now Readily Available.

[Sam Wilson]

Yes, statueforum members. For a limited time only I am offering the one and only PROVEN and TESTED Sam Wilson Method to Self-Improvement. Unlucky in love? Want to double your earning potential in days? NEed to loose weight? Quit smoking? For $99.99, a one only payment, I am offering you all that and more. For $99.99 (recently reduced for $199.99) you will get the following items,

- a full color instruction book

- a towel

- one ballpeen hammer

Yes, used by CEO's, celeberties, and statueforum members, the Sam Wilson Method to Self Improvement has been a driving force in many peoples lives, a driving force for positive self-change, a strong sense of self, and a wicked cool form of amusement.

Check out these testimonials from statueforum members:

jdh.goodgrief-

I was plodding along in life. Drawing cartoons and making avatars for pocket change. Trading barbs with Dana P. It was all good I guess, but I wanted something more. I wanted to write and draw the Avengers for Marvel Comics. I heard about the Sam Wilson Method from, umm, my friend Sam Wilson. I sent him $99.99 (cash only, USD) and got my Self-Improvement kit. Then I went to the Marvel offices in Manhatten and whacked Joe Quesada in the balls with a ballpeen hammer. Soon I was offered a job writing and penciling the Avengers! He even offered me the INvaders, and gave me creative Carte Blanche for whatever project my heart desired! Thanks Sam Wilson, I am a true believer in the Sam Wilson Method!

kdawg59-

I was lonely, had no girl, and I really, really wanted Heidi Klum to be my girlfriend, but I heard she was married to that a$#hole Seal. You know, the singer. Anyway, I heard good things about the Sam Wilson Method to Self Improvement, so I sent him $99.99 (cash only), and hopped the first plane to Britian and whacked Seal in the balls with a ballpeen hammer. Soon Heidi Klum was my girl, and better than that, Seal gave me all his money and cars and sh$#. I ended up whacking him one more time cause he was a little slow turning over the keys to his Aston Martin, but whatever. NOw I am rich and am married to Hedi Klum, sports illustrated Swimsuit Cover model. Thanks Sam Wilson!

William Paquet-

I felt I had lost my muse as an artist. Sculpting for years and being, well, the man, really started to take a toll on me. Everytime I tried search for inspiration I only ended up getting drunk and using the cat to wash my car. Then I heard about the Sam Wilson from a friend. After recieving my kit I prompty went over to my neighbors' house and whacked him in the balls with the ballpeen hammer. That sh$# was freakin' halarious. Then I went down to blockbuster to rent a video and whacked the clerk in the balls with the hammer. He writhed in pain like fish tossed on dry land gasping for his last breath. I laughed so hard I peed a little in my pants. Then I went home and sculpted 8 full sized statues and 3 mini busts in the span of 36 hours. I was so high on the Euphoria of whacking someone in the balls wth a ballpeen hammer I became a sculpting machine. Thanks Sam Wilson!

ddura-

I am a stinking drunk. My wife knows it, my friends no it, everyone knows it. I pissed in my pants and fell asleep in it the other day. My skin is starting to turn yellow. I've tried several 12 step programs and have been kicked out of the finest rehab centers in New York. Then I tried the Sam Wilson method. Every time I want a drink, I whack myself in the balls with a ballpeen hammer. That **** hurt. A lot. The first time I cried and curled up in a fetal position on the floor and started to drool, and then I sh$# myself. But I didn't want a drink. NOt even a little one. The next time I wanted a drink, I did the same thing. Once again, it got rid of my urge. Now I'm 4 years sober and a soprano in the Harlem Boys choir, all thanks to my friend, Sam Wilson. Thanks Sam!



There you have it folks, perosnal testimonials from people you know and love. The Sam Wilson Method to self improvement. Try it. I guarantee you results, or I'll come to your house and whack you in the balls with a ballpeen hammer. 6-8 weeks delivery, we do ship internationally.

Thanks Sam, that's funny.
Brighten my gloomly day a bit.

For those interested, for $1.99 I'll wack you in the balls witht he back of my hand. It works, and brings great amusement to all around.
And if not satisfied, a second wack is free. And one for you, for not being satisfied.

[hawkeyethearcher]

where can i send the money. this sounds like it could help.
plus 99.99 is cheaper than a vegas prostitute for testical abuse

[Tony Coca]

Hey Sammy,

Now that Star Jones is off the View what are you going to do now for your Fix. :tounge:

[Sam Wilson]

Originally Posted by Tony Coca

Hey Sammy,

Now that Star Jones is off the View what are you going to do now for your Fix. :tounge:

Coca. Juan Epstein Called. He wants his look back...

Jones is still the #1 fat beyotch on the team pie hit list...

[rychehitman]

Originally Posted by Tattoo-X

Thanks Sam, that's funny.
Brighten my gloomly day a bit.

For those interested, for $1.99 I'll wack you in the balls witht he back of my hand. It works, and brings great amusement to all around.
And if not satisfied, a second wack is free. And one for you, for not being satisfied.

Gloomy day? Whats up?



Sammy! Great post!

[Jesse321]

Sam .. that one has to be nominated or the ****ING FUNNIEST POST OF ALL TIME!!

[Tony Coca]

Originally Posted by Sam Wilson

Coca. Juan Epstein Called. He wants his look back...

Jones is still the #1 fat beyotch on the team pie hit list...

Yeah and the Baby from Dinosaurs said give his shirt back.LOL

I missed you too.

[Sam Wilson]

Originally Posted by Tony Coca

Yeah and the Baby from Dinosaurs said give his shirt back.LOL

I missed you too.

faaaat guy in a liiittle shirt...

[Tony Coca]

Originally Posted by Sam Wilson

faaaat guy in a liiittle shirt...

LOL LOL LOL

Classic Farley line.