What Does a Kiss Taste Like?

[Synergy]

Originally Posted by Daywalker

reminds me of a similar joke

there is a first grade class and the teacher asks the children how do they think they go to heaven

so the first little boy stands up and say with ur head bowed and hands folded so u can pray to god as u get there

the second little child stands up and says with ur arms open to recieve gods love as u eanter the pearly gates

then the third little girl stands up and says u go to heaven feet first

the teacher stops her ans says" why feet first ?"

and little girl responded "well last night i went into mommy and daddys room and mommys feet where up in the air and she was yelling out "o god, o god, im coming"

[Synergy]

Originally Posted by Jonathan74

A woman goes to her doctor complaining her husband hasn't made love to her in years. The doctor says "Why don't you try Viagra?". The woman replies that her husband doesn't take any tablets. The doctor suggests she grinds up the pill and slips it into a drink. The woman says OK.

She comes back next week and the doctor asks what happened. "Oh doctor it was awful. I slipped a viagra into his drink when we were having a meal. He immediatly jumped over the table, ripped my clothes off and made mad passionate love to me. It was the best sex I'd had in years". Puzzled, the doctor asks "Well what was the problem?" The woman replies "I'll never be able to show my face at that resteraunt again ...."

[Deadpool]

A middle age man has been suffering from serious migraines for the past four years, and can do nothing to alleviate the pain. Well finally after numerous doctors visits, they came to the conclusion that the pain was due to the fact that the mans testicles were pushed up high inside him. The man finally has surgery to remove his testicles, and when he awoke the pain was gone.

Upbeat, and with a new pain free life, the man struts around the city and decides he wants a new outfit to fit his new found hapiness. He walks into a tailor's store, and tells the man what he wanted. Tailor says," let me guess your shirt is a large", to which the man replies , "very well". Now a coat,
" Let me guess, 44 Long", very well sir replies the man. Now the happy man states, you know what I am also in need of underwear, o which the old man replies " let me guess, size 36" Baffled the man says, " No sir you are wrong, i am size 32". The old man turns to him and says, " Listen sir, if you wore a size 32 underwear, you would have your nuts pushed up so far, that you wouldnt be able to stand from the migraine you would have!"

[Babytoxie]

Okay, here we go: the return of the Polish joke....

A guy walks up to the store counter and orders 2 pounds of Polish sausage.

The man behind the counter asks, "Hey, are you Polish?"

The guy is a bit taken aback and says, "No, why would you make that assumption? If I ordered bratwurst, would you assume I was German? If I ordered chorizo, would you assume I was Mexican?"

The man behind the counter replies, "No, I'm assuming you're Polish because you're ordering it in Home Depot."

[pablocruze]

A man scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive woman standing alone. He approached her and asked her name.

"My name is Carmen," she told him.

"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"

"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most - cars and men."

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Beertits," he said

[pablocruze]

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He
immediately turns to her and makes his move.

"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you
strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to
the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me
ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff -- grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out
a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you
suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest
idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh!t?"

[Synergy]

An adorable little girl, all blonde curls and blue eyes walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter do you keep widdle wabbiths?"

The shopkeeper's heart melts and he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"

She, blushing, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees,leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my python weally givth a phuck."

[Synergy]

A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm.
"I'd like to buy a horth" he says to the owner of the farm.
"What sort of horse?" said the owner.
"A female horth" the dwarf replies.
So the owner shows him a mare.
"Nithe horth."says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyeth?"
So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes.
"Nithe eyeth," says the dwarf. "Can I thee her teeth?"
Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.
"Nithe teeth.... can I see her eerth?" the dwarf says.
By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again, picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears.
"Nithe eerth.' he says. 'Now...can I see her twot?"
With this the owner picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck
and shoves his head deep inside the horses vagina.
He holds him there for a couple of seconds before pulling him out and putting him down.
The dwarf shakes his head and says "Perhaps I should weefwaze that...Can I see her wun awound?"

[Daywalker]

what did the leper say to the prostitute ?

keep the tip

[Tattoo-S]

You guys are Wrong.......Funny....but still wrong.....LOL