Hi gang. Sorry to have to start a sombre thread but I just needed a place to just put to words what's going on in my head and my heart. Have got to be strong for the family so I just need somewhat of an outlet.
It has yet to really sink in. Am not sure what to do from here on in. Was with him in his hospital room most of the day up to the point when the nurses alerted me. It was 3am when they woke me and I saw my dad. I was next to him and I didn't even know. I stayed up til about 1am before I turned in. Before that I made sure he was comfortable and kissed his forehead and told him I loved him and asked him to relax and hang in there. I'd like to think he went home peacefully in his sleep. I'm just sorry we weren't with him at his final breath.
He was always a strong man. A very reserved yet determined individual. He worked hard to provide a good life for us even though he struggled with his health. Being in one of the toughest line of work he walked on, even with a bad leg, but he never quit. Right up to the point when he had a stroke 16 some years ago. And even when his conditioned worsened up til the brink of death, he refused to give up, although physically paralysed.
I guessed he finally called it a day after seeing that we were finally struggling to cope with his ever demanding needs. For 16 years, it was my Mom's strength & devotion that kept the whole family going. My other brother and myself did backup support although the eldest children was never really there.
There's still a lot of jumbled up words in me but I gotta run. Gotta handle death registration and make funeral arrangements.
Yet to sink in. Will probably hit hard when it does.
Thanks for putting up with a man in grief