The Ultimate Forum Group - The NY Mafia!!! PART V

[VinReaper]

Originally Posted by Collection King 13

The Beer is cold!

Dying for one right now!!!

Got some work to do first and then it will be beer time!


VR

[Collection King 13]

I'm drinking a Heineken and Laura is making me some Salmon cakes with eggs...

[ANGRYCOMICMAN]

Originally Posted by DC_Universe_Grl

No Way! Sorry Mike I am all Woman....LOL

Coolio.

[VinReaper]

What If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?

General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers - but imagine if they did?

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"

HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."

CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"

----------------------------------------------------

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"

HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"

CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"

HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"

CUSTOMER: "I see an 'E' but no 'F'."

HELPLINE: "You see the 'E' and just to the right is the 'F'.

CUSTOMER: "No, just to the right of the first 'E' is a 'V'.

HELPLINE: "A 'V'?!?"

CUSTOMER: "Yeah, there's a 'C', an 'H', the first 'E', then a 'V', followed by 'R', 'O', 'L' ..."

HELPLINE: "No, no, no sir! That's the front of the car. When you sit behind the steering wheel, that's the panel I'm talking about."

CUSTOMER: "That steering wheel thingy-- Is that the round thing that honks the horn?"

HELPLINE: "Yes, among other things."

CUSTOMER: "The needle's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"

HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."

CUSTOMER: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

----------------------------------------------------

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Your cars suck!"

HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"

HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"

CUSTOMER: "I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't even start up!"

HELPLINE: "I'm sorry, sir, but it's your responsibility if you misuse the product."

CUSTOMER: "Misuse it? I was just following this damned manual of yours. It said to make the car go to put the transmission in 'D' and press the accelerator pedal. That's exactly what I did --now the damn thing's crashed."

HELPLINE: "Did you read the entire operator's manual before operating the car sir?"

CUSTOMER: "What? Of course I did! I told you I did EVERYTHING the manual said and it didn't work!"

HELPLINE: "Didn't you attempt to slow down so you wouldn't crash?"

----------------------------------------------------

CUSTOMER: "Huh! How do you do THAT?"

HELPLINE: "You said you read the entire manual, sir. It's on page 14. The pedal next to the accelerator."

CUSTOMER: "Well, I don't have all day to sit around and read this manual you know."

HELPLINE: "Of course not. What do you expect us to do about it?"

CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that goes fast and won't crash anymore!"

----------------------------------------------------

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission,cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."

HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to DRIVE?"

CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"


I am sure my fellow tech services providers and workers are familiar with these people!

Have a good Sunday, because you will have to deal with them again in the morning.

VR

[VinReaper]

Originally Posted by Collection King 13

I'm drinking a Heineken and Laura is making me some Salmon cakes with eggs...

I be over in 20 minutes! LOL!

Sounds good!

VR

[VinReaper]

Originally Posted by Rogue

Hello NY!

Hi Elaine! Bye Elaine! Where did she go? LOL!


VR

[Collection King 13]

Originally Posted by VinReaper

I be over in 20 minutes! LOL!

Sounds good!

VR

I'll tell Laura to make extra!

[Alex655321]

Afternoon

[Alex655321]

Originally Posted by CocoPUFF

you hurt my feelers because you ignored me the other night when i said hi....plus i couldnt remember everybody LOL! Im gonna go get breakfast...LOL my head hurts.. nothing personal NY ...we're still cool. I dont have hard feelings towards any of you..i was just messed up last night.. PS thanks for having my back LOU!

No Problemo, we all get drunk and stupid at times

[Alex655321]

Originally Posted by J Storm

go back & read. CP got on and did a drunken post.