Today's Joke...

[Alex655321]

[Makkari1]

Originally Posted by pablocruze

I thought there was a joke of the day thread, but I couldn't find it, so I started this one...

Feel free to add any good ones you might have saved up...

GETTING MARRIED IN HEAVEN…

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.

The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to

process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder could they possibly

get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived, they asked him if they could get married in Heaven. St. Peter said,

“I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,” and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer for a couple of months. While they waited, they

discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get

married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? “What if it doesn’t work? Are we stuck in

Heaven together forever?”

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.

“Yes,” he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.”

“Great!” said the couple. “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out?

Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

“What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple.

“OH COME ON!” St. Peter shouted.

“It took me 3 months to find a Priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take to find a lawyer?”

LOL

[Makkari1]

Originally Posted by Vince-Vell

had this one emailed to me this morning.




Two guys, one old timer and one young, are pushing their carts around Lowe's Building Supply when they collide. 



The old timer says to the young guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. 



The young guy says, 'That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.' 



The old guy says, 'Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?' 



The young guy says, 'Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?' 



The old timer says. ..... 'Doesn't matter --- let's look for Yours.'* 




We Old timers are helpful like that!

That's a good one.

[endsongjen]

i didnt read that heaven one! lmao terrible.

[pablocruze]

Baptizing A Drunk


A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Where upon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

'Yes I am' replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'

The drunk replies, 'No, I haven't.' The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus, my brother?'

The drunk again answers, 'No, I have not found Jesus.'

By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.

When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, 'For the love of God, have you found Jesus?'

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,

'Are you sure this is where he fell in?'

[endsongjen]

welcome back pablo!

[pablocruze]

Originally Posted by endsongjen

welcome back pablo!

Thanks, Jen.

Thought I'd make a "splash"...

[endsongjen]

haha!

now... get rid of that clown!

[pablocruze]

Originally Posted by endsongjen

haha!

now... get rid of that clown!

I kinda like him...I think he's a keeper!!!

[endsongjen]

mkay then lol