Originally Posted by J Storm
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the forum
Not a creature was stirring, not even a cougar;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a Sideshow Premium Format soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of comiquettes danced in their heads;
And Sebrina in her 'kerchief, and Jesse in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Rodney sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window Vaultman flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the drunken CK13
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to Lou’s wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature Dodge Challenger, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. AngryComicMan.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Coca! now, Drew! now, Matt and Ant!
On, Dave! on James! on, Ficci and Tony D!
To the top of the curb! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of statues, and St. AngryComicMan too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As Dr. A drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. AngryComicMan came with a bound.
He was dressed all in leather, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with blood and gunshot residue;
A bundle of statues he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a pedophile just flashing his sack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the hair on his head was as white as the snow;
The stump of a cigar he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And Closetnerd laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But CKinSD heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and fvck Bowen!."
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