Serious issue...serious discussion only - Page 3

DarkKni9hT · 08-19-2010, 10:53 AM

Re: Cheryl. As everyone has already said, she needs to be given the support and friendship to help her through this. Regardless of whether or not she moves, I think it imperative that you and your wife continue to be whatever she needs you to be, even if that means absent. She may need some space to deal with the shame of this situation before being able to face her friends again. If so, give it to her, but at the same time let her know clearly that she is dear to you and that you will always be there to support and encourage her. If she needs to talk about it, listen and let her vent. If she just needs the close comfort of playing cards with her friends, deal the deck and let her just feel normal aand welcome. Also, rolling around on the floor with a fresh litter of puppies has never been bad therapy in times of distress.

Re: Wayne. This is far more difficult to scope. Had this been a single, isolated, first offence, I would say that he needs the support and help of his friends to help cope with the realization of a health issue. However, as it is evident that he has known of this problem for an undisclosed amount of time and done nothing about it, it becomes more difficult to empathize with him. Perhaps it was embarrassment that kept him quiet. Feeling ashamed of his problem and not wanting to expose himself (no pun intended) for fear of consequence. This however is no excuse in this case. By remaining silent, he chose by his actions to endanger his marriage, his family and his friendships. Does he deserve and need help? Yes. Should you and your wife bear that burden? Not sure, You'll have to make that call. Had he been forthright and direct in dealing with this when it arose, I would say that you should remain behind him and be loyal to the friendship. As it took an arrest to make him finally bring it to light, my feeling is that he has given up the right to ask his friends for help.

Tough situation and I'm sorry it's landed on your lap. I hope that you and Cheryl can remain friends. They're few and far between in this world and it's always a shame to lose one when they've not done anything wrong.

Best of luck to you with your prostate operation. As said, that's the real worry in this whole thing. I hope you come through with a clean bill of health. My fingers wil be crossed for you.

08-20-2010, 06:11 AM

I hope you the best of luck in all of your situations Keith. It's great that you and your wife are there to support Cheryl.

risingstar · 08-20-2010, 08:26 AM

Friendships often come with emotionally charged situations which challenge our convictions. It's likely an even greater challenge if you must face a given obtacle as a couple, especially if there are differences of opinion with regards to the next step.

It appears you're compelled to make a choice between what's moral and what's perhaps more convenient. More than anything else, this feels like a test of character, for both you and the Mrs. It's situations like these which ultimately illustrate who we really are. There's probably no real right or wrong here, just a conformation of personal boundaries.

Collection King 13 · 08-20-2010, 10:33 AM

I would say that you shouldn't turn your back on your friend... no matter how much you disagree with what he did... You should make sure he gets help... let your wife worry about his wife...

**nbr3bagshotrow** · 08-20-2010, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Collection King 13

I would say that you shouldn't turn your back on your friend... no matter how much you disagree with what he did... You should make sure he gets help... let your wife worry about his wife...

That's harder to do than you think. Fortunately, the family will be making sure he gets the help he needs.

Collection King 13 · 08-20-2010, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nbr3bagshotrow

That's harder to do than you think. Fortunately, the family will be making sure he gets the help he needs.

I never said it was easy... but he is still going to need all the help he can get.

Underdog07 · 08-20-2010, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nbr3bagshotrow

Well, Wayne and Cheryl have seen their attorney. Since it's a first offense, the attorney thinks they will be able to plea bargain to a misdemenor. However it will most likely cost them both in $ and lifestyle. Most likely it will cost them close to $5,000 in legal fees and some type of fine. He will most likely get probation and be banned from being anywhere close to children for 10 years. He also has to talk to his work, starting with the corporate labor attorney and his boss.

Cheryl went to CA to discuss with there son & daughter in law. There were a lot of tears but Cheryl was surprised how supportive her son was. He feels his dad is "sick" and will be flying into Denver to talk with his dad. Their son said not to may any rash decisions but that Cheryl is welcome to stay with them as long as needed. But Cheryl is planning on coming back to Denver. The two will stay in separate rooms for the time being.

Feel so bad for Cheryl yet we are offering as much moral support as she needs. I've had the urge to e-mail Wayne but can't think of what to say so for now I'm staying out of it.

sounds like there is some good news in there.

Perhaps a simple email stating - I am aware of what transpired, and while I do not condone it, if you right yourself I will be there to support you

**nbr3bagshotrow** · 08-20-2010, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underdog07

sounds like there is some good news in there.

Perhaps a simple email stating - I am aware of what transpired, and while I do not condone it, if you right yourself I will be there to support you

Not a bad lead in.

**Bullseye** · 08-20-2010, 12:23 PM

That's a good start IMO.