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Old 11-22-2014, 11:30 AM   #11
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Rule 1: the Santa Principle

Guaranteed to be accurate 98% of the time.

Is there an old man in the film that someone speaks to?



Does he have white hair?

Does he wear round rimmed glasses?

Does he have a sleigh?

Is he homeless?


Is he Ed Asner?

If he is Ed Asner, please answer the next question.

Does he have any kind of beard? If the answer is yes, add one to your score. If he doesn't have a beard, subtract one. A full beard is not necessary, really any facial hair at all will qualify.


If you answer "yes" to 2 or more of these, there is a high likelihood you are in a "real life Santa Claus" storyline.

RLSC storylines will almost always involve trying to save a business, building, marriage, romance, or job by midnight December 24th.
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Old 11-22-2014, 11:36 AM   #12
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Rule 2 : Does he get the girl?




This rule is really easy to remember. Is there a male character in the film who drives a motorcycle?

If you answer yes, he gets the girl.



Is there a male character who is a real life cowboy?

If you answer yes, he gets the girl.



Is there a male character who has a dog?

If you answer yes, he gets the girl.



Is there a male character in the film with a son who is mute?

If you answer yes, he gets the girl.



Is there a male character in the film who is a veterinarian?

You can be sure he gets the girl.
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Old 11-22-2014, 11:42 AM   #13
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Rule 3: Nice knowing you, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Is the main character female? Does she start the film with a boyfriend or fiancee'?

She will definitely break up with him by the end of the film. This is true 100% of the time with one exception.

The exception to this rule is if you are in a RLSC storyline. In that case, Santa Claus will patch their relationship up just before midnight December 24th.
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Old 11-22-2014, 11:46 AM   #14
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Rule 4: Look what you did to my car! I'll sue! Wait, on second thought I love you.


Is there a traffic accident in the film between 2 attractive people? Even if they can't stand each other and appear to hate one another, by the end of the film they will be shown as a happily married couple.
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Old 11-22-2014, 11:52 AM   #15
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Rule 5 : Are they eating together in a restaurant? Oh no!

Inverse proximity = Romance quotient

If you see a couple seated at the same table in a restaurant, the relationship is doomed or they just remain friends and do not become romantically involved. If you see two people seated at different tables in a restaurant the relationship is soon to be a go.

When a relationship is really heating up the couple will not eat at a restaurant, instead they will eat at the female character's parents' home. A good guideline to remember is (eating a home cooked turkey = sex).
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Old 11-22-2014, 12:20 PM   #16
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Rule 6: Pretty woman, walkin down the street...

If there is a relatively young attractive single female, there is a very high likelihood that one of the following is true:

She owns a company that she is desperately trying to save before a deadline comes up, the deadline 99% of the time is December 24th at midnight.
She is a widow.
She has a young son who is mute or a daughter who is going blind.
She is an elf.
She has amnesia.
She used to celebrate Christmas, but doesn't anymore.

If none of these apply, there is a very high likelihood she will be visited by Mr or Mrs Claus or an angel sometime in the film.
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Old 12-24-2016, 02:12 AM   #17
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Rule 7: If someone in the film doesn't or can't celebrate Christmas,

and at some point in their life they did, almost every character in the film will make it their number one priority to see that they do again by the end of the film.


edited for 2016
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Old 11-11-2017, 04:38 PM   #18
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They started so early this year!
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