My brush with super powers!

CompEng1 · 04-07-2006, 04:10 PM

Well, funny how life imitates art and in that respect I thought I'd start a thread about your closest brush with gaining super powers. Here's mine:

Being in the military I had a bro whose house was the quintessential crash pad. Literally there were 3 or 4 months worth of empty beer bottles, pizza boxes and other piles of...ummm...well, I'm not sure what they were but neither was anyone else. Once I threw an empty bag of Doritos on the floor after polishing off the last chip and three months later I happened to look behind the dilapidated lounge chair I was slumped in and there it was, dust covered and untouched. You get the idea. So one friday night we're slugging back beers and cranking the Alice in Chains to commiserate the inevitable breakups that we most likely orchestrated. In that haze I grabbed my brew off the table and took a giant gulp. Gggghhhhaaaaa!.......the contents of that bottle was not an ice cold beer but rather a mold covered, half full, cauldron of sludge from 2 or 3 months earlier that had been discarded. There were 2 or 3 cigarettes floating in the bottle as well as a healthy dose of regurgitated dip and associated saliva! So there I am on fire, stumbling around the place, punching my own head trying to stay concious. I vaguely remember spewing a flow of obscenities between the gagging. They were drowned out by the laughter of my buddy as I staggered outside into the grass in search of some relief while my life flashed before my eyes. Fast forward a half hour and I'm back in the house pounding copious amounts of beer trying to kill the taste of 3 month old rot in my mouth. After he stopped laughing my buddy finally says "Hey man, are you ok?" I just looked at him and said "Well, either I'll be dead by morning or I'll be able to bench press my Jeep." I didn't die, and I couldn't bench press a Jeep but I damn sure cleaned that entire house and filled up 3 glad bags full of old beer bottles. I nearly died and that bastard got his house cleaned cause I was so pissed off. So there it is, that's the closest I've come to being imbued with super powers. I have a new respect for the comic heroes who have had to endure chugging some toxic waste or inhaling a super soldier serum. It ain't easy....

pablocruze · 04-07-2006, 07:43 PM

Arrrrghhh!!! Back in the late summer of 1978 or 79, I was at the local JC for the first session of my creative writing class (Night school, 3 hours/once per week) and it was as hot as hades (over 100°F) with no air conditioning. During the first break I located a coke machine near the classroom and dropped in the appropriate change. Looking at the choices, I opted for Mr. Pibb thinking it might be more refreshing than Coke or Sprite. The beverage was dispensed in a paper cup with crushed ice. Bingo! I love to suck on the ice...it helps cool down faster and better than sipping (or gulping) a cold beverage. So I'm a couple of sips into the drink and get myself a mouthful of the crushed ice. I'm rolling the ice around in my mouth as I wander around the campus when I discover a "soft" piece of "ice"...I mean really soft...hey wait a minute...there's no way this is ice...so, with my tongue I separate the "soft" object from the ice and push it out between my lips where I can get it with my fingers. It felt a little squishy as I pulled it from my mouth and as I looked down I discovered a dead yellowjacket. Blahhhh!!!!!! I spit out the ice, threw away the drink and found a water fountain to rinse out my mouth. I assume the yellowjacket had crawled up the tube for dispensing the liquid and died, eventually being washed into my cup. It took hours to get past the nauseating memory of a dead bug in my soda. Had he stung me..who knows...I might be wearing yellow and black latex and saving the world from super villians as YELLOWJACKET!!!!

CompEng1 · 04-07-2006, 08:55 PM

I don't think I would have been very popular with the chicks...I guess I would have been Mold and Spit man!

Kirk Durfey · 04-07-2006, 11:05 PM

This was about 25 years ago. I climbed into bed and lay down, and felt something wet and slimy on my pillow. Horrified, I turned on the light and found a regurgitated dead mouse. The cat had eaten it and decided to let me share in the experience. Good thing the cat was nowhere to be found, otherwise it would've lost the rest of its lives... I guess I would've been dead mouse man...

CompEng1 · 04-08-2006, 01:38 AM

Hmmm...well you could only get the powers if you actually licked, ate or were somehow scratched by the dead mouse....LOL.

Tattoo-S · 04-08-2006, 12:57 PM

When I was in H.S., I worked summers for my Softball coach who owned an outfit who was contracted by the DFPA to do mop ups and dig hand/fire trail. While digging fire trail through a beautiful unit one day, break time rolls around and we all sit down to enjoy a drink and bite to eat. Stomping around through viny maple and alder berry brush, someone

in advertantly insulted a ground hive of hornets.....If you have every delt with a hornets nest, you know the only thing to do it to try and out run them as they gang stalk you. Fortunately at that time in my life, I was fairly fit and speedy......however I was completely dibilitated by the thick timbers that I ran into blindly cause I was too damn busy stripping my clothes on the run.

At the end of the line and breath, all I could do was the Stop Drop and Roll.....Needless to say that ultimately I was stung so many times that we quit counting at about 33

I am not sure at the time I would have recieved such a cool super hero name, but ultimately (nearly 2 summers later) I earned the nickname Charm, which was shortened from Bee Charmer........... and began at lumpy!

Forgotten all about it till this thread.....Good subject. :}

CompEng1 · 04-08-2006, 06:23 PM

That sounds very painful but I bet it would have been funny to watch...sorry..hehe.