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Old 07-31-2006, 02:55 PM   #1
Meta Jon
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The Purina Diet

Got this in my inbox today and thought it was priceless



I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door!!
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Old 07-31-2006, 02:59 PM   #2
hawkeyethearcher
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Old 07-31-2006, 06:23 PM   #3
firestorm
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Cool

... Yer a nut, Jon... ...
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Old 07-31-2006, 10:31 PM   #4
Rogue
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That's too funny!
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Old 08-01-2006, 01:11 AM   #5
Justin
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classic!
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Old 08-01-2006, 02:20 AM   #6
bigjohn550
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That's awesome!!!
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Old 08-01-2006, 02:20 PM   #7
NovaKane
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Old 08-01-2006, 04:13 PM   #8
CanadianMachine
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Old 08-01-2006, 09:42 PM   #9
ANGRYCOMICMAN
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You be a funny guy

My wife didn't get it.
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Old 08-01-2006, 09:49 PM   #10
JadeGiant
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I am going to have to remember that
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